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Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out 

A metaphor for: "I think you should leave. Do not pause or delay while you are leaving." Generally used when the addressed has been complaining about circumstances that the listener doesn't agree with. It comes from a time when doors were on spring hinges and if you paused in the doorway while exiting, the door would spring closed behind you and hit you on the backside.
"This place stinks. I am too qualified to be here."

"Well, don't let the door hit you on the way out."

If I see her on the way out, imma kick her 

Something said about a girl who was being impolite
Bro1: that chick was being a bitch to you earlier, idk what was up with that.

Bro2: if I see her on the way out, imma kick her no cap

INSTRUCTIONS - while water is boiling smash the fuck out of your bag of shrimp TOP RAMEN but be careful to not just throw bag on the ground like you would normally do because remember this one is missing your bag of seasoning. Dont want to fuck up your 

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INSTRUCTIONS - while water is boiling smash the fuck out of your bag of shrimp TOP RAMEN but be careful to not just throw bag on the ground like you would normally do because remember this one is missing your bag of seasoning. Dont want to fuck up your spread by throwing your noodles all over your cell. Then add blue text

douched out on the ice

Having slipped and fallen on a patch of ice.
Ron: Yo man, where ya been?
Craig: Sorry about that dude. I douched out on the ice on the way here.

Out on the tiles 

It is a phrase originating in Ireland, where all the pubs have tile floors, referring to a night of drinking but in an elegant way...
I don't like babysitting, but a couple with a newborn deserve a night out on the tiles in a bad way..

Fell Out Of The Ugly Tree And Hit Every Branch On The Way Down

Commonly used phrase referencing the degree to which an individual is considered unattractive. Possibly a regional colloquialism used in the Oklahoma area.
Billy Bob: "Geez! That woman with the balding patte, bulbous nose, black front teeth, and tattoo of 'I Like It Rough,' sure is ugly!"

Billy Roy: "She sure has a flabby gut, and that backside ain't too perty neither!"

Billy Billy: "Boys, that there gal Fell Out Of The Ugly Tree And Hit Every Branch On The Way Down!"