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Murkin' Gerkin 

Someone/something that is being either:

1) Really good at doing something. Up to the point of being gerkinly good.

2) A bit of a nobhead in any kind of way.

(Yes, these two conflicting opinions do make it extremely hard to tell what is meant sometimes. It's open to the receiver's interpretation to prevent unwanted offense and tears.)

3) A particularly nice gerkin.
1)
Will: I'm pretty solid at chess.
Emily: You're not just solid, you're a Murkin' Gerkin

2)
Lydia: Hey John! That new shampoo you're using is making your hair smell like wet dog.
John: Stop being a Murkin' Gerkin.

3)
Bethany: Mmmmmmmmmmm... that was one hell of a Murkin' Gerkin.
Murkin' Gerkin by Will R Fry December 20, 2008
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MERKIN FOR MY GERKIN 

AS IN "MERKIN" ITS A TINY TUPEE FOR THE TIP OF THE PENIS
BILL KEEPS IS HIS DICK WARM BY WEARING THE MERKIN FOR MY GERKIN

Jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin 

Of the male: Masturbating with a pubic wig on.
"Geeves, what on earth are you doing in Lord Boddington's room this late at night?"

"Sorry, ma'am, but I heard a commotion down the hall, so I scurried to investigate the matter. Twas but a false alarm, the young master was simply jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin"

From "Geeves, that the stupid thing off his genitals" by Forsworth Littlingshire

Gherkin Merkin 

A pubic wig that is worn to give the illusion of having hairy balls.
Ever since Pete has his ballsack radiated, his wife makes him wear a Gherkin Merkin

gherkin his merkin

a euphemism for male masturbation; a derivative of “jerkin the gherkin”
David was late because he was too busy gherkin his merkin.
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