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Michael penis 

1.) The act of putting ice on one's crotch. This can be done to activate your vagus nerve and slow down your heart rate during an anxiety attack, to shrink your Johnson so that you can more easily put on your chastity cage, or to perform a thirsty Frozone.

2.) To break the 4th wall during the course of a dream, such as by cutting to the director of a movie. This can be done to give context behind the use of certain language, to ease tension, or for comedic effect.
Stella Artois: "I can't wait til you give me a Michael penis"

Kevin: "What's that, are you seeing somebody else?"

The Direktor: "No, Kevin. The Michael penis is a classic dreamfilming and medical bedroom technique with a deep and well-established history. I detail it in my bestselling book, the Art of Michelangelo Penisian, which you can order in any major bookstore or on my 24/7 birthday party entertainment hotline."

Kevin: struggling not to break character "Alright, whatever, shut up! I don't give a flying flip what the flop a Michael p-penis is, man."

Fin
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