Skip to main content

Dick measuring contest 

When a group of egotistical men get together
Today’s meeting turned into a dick measuring contest

dick measuring contest 

A conflict in which two parties (ususally male) are vehemently disputing something of limited relevance. Generally, both parties are somewhat wrong, but each refuses to be back down for fear of being thought the have the smaller of their two penises. Similar to a pissing match, but generally, the conflict involved involves a larger element of machismo, and continues on only because neither side wants to be seen as the one who backs down.
The White House and the Conservative Right have been in a real dick measuring contest over the qualifications of this new Supreme Court apointee, Harriet Meiers.
dick measuring contest by Cosmo October 12, 2005

Dick Measuring 

When to men are talking, and one trys to one up the other by bragging.
Bill: Ok I shot sniper 1 down and am working on 2.
Ted: Well I killed that one guy back there, remember?
Bill: Now's not the time for Dick Measuring!
Dick Measuring by jlong17543 August 2, 2009

Equator Penis Measuring System 

The Equator Penis Measuring System (EPMS) is the system that gives an approximation of one's penis size. Generally speaking, the closer you live to the Ecuador, the larger your penis is. For example, Africans and Latin Americans living on the equator will have penises measuring around 11 or 12 inches hard, while the English and Scottish living up north have penises measuring 3 inches flaccid, or up to 5 inches hard. There are also intermediate points. Italians, for example, have penises about 6 inches flaccid, and 8 inches hard.
Example of the Equator Penis Measuring System

Canadian: Eh, my penis is aboot 3 inches.

Italian: What's a matta you, uh?? I got a 8 inch sausage! It could slap you and break-a your face!!

Black guy: Y'all niggas is small. I got 12 inches up in this muthafucka. Y'all my bitches now. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!! SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!

stealth measuring 

exploiting mechanics to measure distances in a table top war game where one is not allowed to check distances freely
We said no stealth measuring! If you want to measure before every action go play 10th Edition!

Dick Measuring Contest 

When people obsessively compare themselves to each other to see who is 'the best' or 'the biggest'. It may or may not involve actual penises, but it can. Usually the things being compared are worthless and meaningless things like income, car size, house size, job performance, sports stats, partner attractiveness, and yes, of course, penis sizes.
They're all bragging about how big their cars are versus the other guy's car, they're just engaging in a useless dick measuring contest.