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Mactards are people who fall prey to Apple's advertisements, failing to see they are the victims of ploys to get them to pay for a logo rather than superior products.
You might be a mactard if...

1.) You bought a Mac to be different, just like everyone else buying a Mac.

2.) You believe the half truths of Apple's advertisements.

3.) You believe some one else who believes the half truths of Apple's advertisements.

4.) You think the iPad is a "magical and revolutionary" device when in fact such devices have been around for years.

5.) You think the price of an iPad is unbelievable because it is low rather than ridiculously high.

6.) If you think clicking the right mouse is hard, but using esoteric key combinations to get the same behaviors out of a one button mouse is some how easier.

7.) You prefer form over function, bought a Mac and got neither.

8.) You switched to a Mac because you thought Windows was proprietary...

9.) You feel penalized because most apps won't run on your Mac after you bought a Mac with full knowledge that most apps won't run on a Mac.

10.) You insist on using Safari because it is "secure", in spite of the fact it has been shown to be the most insecure browser on a Mac. (Apple is learning from Microsoft on how to make in house browsers...)

and one to grow on:

11.) You have to think of a way to justify any of the aforementioned ways to know you are a mactard.
mactard by recovering mactard March 23, 2011
Related Words

McCardboard 

Cardboard boxes that McDonald's throws out and lets people take for free
Get us 8 McDoubles and some McCardboard for the fire
McCardboard by Punky s October 18, 2010

McTarded 

A McTarded person is someone who can't get a real job, and are so retarded that they end up in the fast food business for the rest of their lives.
Wow, that guy failed every school subject. He's so McTarded.
McTarded by CBIwolfe September 5, 2006
Apple device user who believes doggedly in the superiority of anything produced by Apple but lacks any actual technical knowledge. Mactards have no idea how computers actually work and eventually lose all ability to operate even the most rudimentary technological devices because they lack Apple's look-and-feel.
Friend 1: Why is the TV still on?
Friend 2: Oh, that's my roommate; he's a Mactard and can't figure out the remote.
-----------
Mactard: <swiping thumb across flashlight> Why won't this unlock?
Mactard by slickenstein February 7, 2010
An Apple computer user who takes any opportunity to advertise to the world they are 'better' than everyone else because they use a mac, even if this statement has nothing to do with the current conversation.
User 1> Does anyone know why my P4 is having heat issues when I use (program)?
Mactard> HaHa Use a mac!! My mac is better than you're PC anyday! I am so cool because i have an iPod!
User 1> Anyone else? Anyone who isn't a mactard?
mactard by DJ Bitterbarn July 18, 2005
Mac users who think they are better than people who use PCs, and think they know everything about Macs, but in reality don't know much about anything and just like feeling superior to others.
Windows User in Mac Lab: "Dude, this is so annoying, every time I touch the sides of the mouse it keeps spreading all of my windows out."

Mac User: "Oh, here you can turn that off in System Preferences. Let me show you."

Mactard: "HAHA! The PC has made you dumb. Expose is the best thing to grace this planet, you just don't know how to use it cause you're dumb!"

Windows User and Mac User: "STFU ALREADY DUDE."
Mactard by Aune February 20, 2009
More from Urban Dictionary

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Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
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Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
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