Killer Cupcakes
Coated in a fine layer of
pink,
blue or
green, several thousand mighty beasts are on the loose, searching for
fresh, juicy meat. Merking in the darkness these terrifying creatures could pounce upon you, or your loved-ones at any time.
The bakery on Pudding
Lane, owned by Mrs Julie Atkinson, has brought this burden upon us. Julie is currently being held captive by the creatures whilst her husband, George, is in intensive-care after an attack. Obviously, we have many theories upon how these events came about but we cannot be completely sure until we have questioned the couple.
The creatures seem to be cupcakes injected with some sort of disease which brings them to life. They are extremely intelligent and powerful in large numbers. They were last spotted thirty minutes after an incident creating murderous muffins! If these terrorsum-twosum come together, it may become a worldwide massacre.
Killer Cupcakes have attacked many including:
Bruno the dog, Bubbles the goldfish, George Atkinson and many more. The attacks seem to be extremely fatal to animals. Last week a report came in that the cupcakes had attacked Jimbo, Mr Gozlings beloved tiger. They had somehow managed to strap him down, starve him for five weeks, then torment him with themselves as
food.
Dr. Jones, who graduated from Cambridge University some twelve years ago gave us this exclusive theory upon the beasts; “It seems quite suspicious that the cupcakes only attack fat
people. They seem to strap them down using magic powers and then begin to starve the victim thin whilst tormenting the victim with themselves. After realising this, I began to think, if I was a
cupcake why would I want to do this? I tried for weeks and couldn't find the answer. So, I went undercover as a
cupcake and found out what was so bad... The cupcakes are obviously mad that they are been guzzled down by fat
people! They seem to have taken offence to these sorts of
people. In conclusion to my theory I would say if your thin, your safe. If your fat, diet or die!”
When we received Dr. Jones' theory we began to fear for the nations safety. So take this warning, all fat
people must diet! Now! Or they are going to get tormented to death, literally. We cannot evacuate all fat
people as we do not have enough space. There is
nothing we can do to save you. Your choice diet, or die!
Used By Most scene and emo kids these days!! x
