Johnstoning

to touch oneself numerous times within an hour, mainly during times of boredom.

Today I found movies boring, so I proceeded to Johnstoning and finished off the day.

by Matt Hemerson May 18, 2008

Swift Johnsoning

The art of rubbing your ass across the floor with your pants down while repeatedly saying "Oh Long Johnson"

"What are you doing here Taylor Swifting?"
"He's not Taylor Swifting, that's old stuff."
"Yeah now you do it while seeing how many times you can say Oh Long Johnson"
"Swift Johnsoning is the latest memeing craze!"

by Agnostic Priest January 22, 2019

scarlett johanssoning

Taking semi-nude pictures of yourself in the mirror.
P.s. Preferably with a bum as hot as Scarlett Johansson's

I can't leave the bathroom now - I am busy Scarlett Johanssoning...

by sp@ngeb@b September 19, 2011

Johnsoning

The act of being stubborn or unrelenting in a way that is hidden behind a veil of cute and aesthetically pleasing behavior and therefor difficult to perceive.

In that outfit, with that smile, I lost the debate. She was totally johnsoning me.

by Knowaspear April 25, 2011

oh long johnsoning

A term used in the show: South Park as a type of meme in the episode "Faith Hilling". This meme is portrayed as a person continuously saying "Oh Long Johnson" in a dangerous situation.

A boy was Oh Long Johnsoning in the road. After he said "Oh Long Johnson" for the 5th time. A truck hit him on his Rearend, punishing him for Oh Long Johnsoning in the Traffic.

by thenegativedegree November 3, 2013

swift johnsoning

The act of wiping your partners running nose with a swift movement of your penis; swift johnsoning

I just swift Johnsoning my girlfriends runny nose

by Caylih10 February 15, 2014

Johnsoning

The act of purposefully injuring oneself in order to collect disability or workman's compensation from the government or military because you took out too many TSP loans and have nothing saved for retirement.

Upon realizing his retirement account was dwindled from excessive loans, John came to work and headed straight to the break room for some johnsoning, and instantly fell off of a ladder tearing his acl virtually ensuring future disability checks from the government.

by Ronald McDonald69 May 20, 2013