John Handcocked 

Using the term "John Handcocked" is a biblical allusion to the time when John Handcock was the first bigdickmotherfucker to sign the Declaration of Independence. Using his large weinor, he scribbled his large signature on the document with his dick juice; he also served as a leader during the American Revolution.

I just John Handcocked the fuck out of this discussion board. Our discussion post was supposed to have 3 images
but for some reason mine are like 10 times bigger than everyone else's.

they will know my name.

- Denrari "Rari" K.

John Handcocked by Fentjamin Master February 9, 2025

John Hancocked 

To be "John Handcocked" is to have a man ejaculate into his hand - and with the semen still pooled in his hand - slap an individual across the face. The name derives from the man's proverbial "ink" which spouts from his "pen." He then claims what is rightfully his by marking his territory.

This is most appropriate at Ugly Sweater Christmas Parties, or when a prostitute gets out of line. Especially applicable to any girls that may own a California Tan boutique and hail from Appalachia.

Kristen: "Oh my god, you'll never believe what Paul did last night!"

Sarah: "What?"

Kristen: "He nutted in his hand and slapped me across the face with it!"

Sarah: "Oh fuck, Nathan has John Hancocked me all the time, it's not a big deal, he's just claiming what is his."

John Hancocked by Ugly Sweater December 12, 2010

john handcock 

A man who frequents prostitutes (John), but materbates on, or is masterbated by (handcock) the prostitute, rather than having sex with her, as a means of avoiding STDs.

YOU: Hey, John, do you wanna go to the bar?

YOUR BUDDY: No, I'm going to see Sharin' Cocks, that ho down the road.

YOU: Aren't you afraid of AIDS?

YOUR BUDDY: No, I'm a John Handcock.

john handcock by Sex Ed December 8, 2006

john handcock 

while cumming onto someones face you write your name with the semen. This definition makes sense because your hand is on your cock and there was some guy who signed some piece of shit called the declaration of independence and now he is some hot shot for knowing how to spell his own name, but thats another story.

After fucking for a while max finished it off with a john handcock to commemorate the experience.

john handcock by MW52 December 10, 2008

John Handcock 

v.it., The act of male masturbation whilst seated on a toilet. This term originates from a play on words; one's hand is on one's "cock", thereby conducting the act of masturbation. As this occurs, one is also seated upon a "John", or toilet. Often the physical stimuli of the act itself is inhanced by pressure on the prostate from passing feces.

Jonathan takes fifteen minutes every Saturday morning to treat himself to a John Handcock after checking the markets in the Tribune.

John Handcock by Spack McDrack November 26, 2004

John HandCock 

When ur finished fucking a girl, pull out, cum on her chest, and use ur Hands to sign your name on her chest.

After I paid her a Ben Franklin, I gave her a John HandCock.

John HandCock by The Kid's Killin December 8, 2007

John Handcocker 

The act of jerking off, or stroking your cock while engaging in intercourse. The act has one, two, and three finger variants; however, the three finger variant is the original form. Performed by inserting your pointer finger, up to and including your middle and ring fingers, into the woman's vagina under the shaft of your penis. Then gripping around the shaft leaving the thumb exposed over the top near the clitoris. Once held into position you proceed to stroke yourself while performing intercourse.

Ex 1:
Man A to Friend A:
"Last night was wild, I even gave her the Ol' John Handcocker."

Ex 2:
"Angelique's pussy was so loose and wet I had to give her the ol' John Handcock to finish us off."

John Handcocker by TeoDee September 13, 2017