Jaques Cousteau

Noun. Any jackass who thinks they know something about animal life, and spits useless, public knowledge about the mating, eating or hunting habits of animals.

JC: Hey did you know giraffes were born with long necks so they can eat the leaves from trees.

Person: Hey Jaques Cousteau, thanks for the info retard...Ive known that since kindergarden

Jaques Cousteau by CKYass September 28, 2009

Jacques Cousteau 

The act of muff diving. Named after the famous diver, Jacques Cousteau.

I went all Jacques Cousteau on her when we hooked up last night.

Jacques Cousteau by ktrain11 November 14, 2009

Jacques Cousteau 

zhäk - kü -'stO
1. The act of giving head as if you were drowning and the balls contained oxygen.
2. Extremely vigorous felatio.

While Betty was extremely underqualified for the position, she managed to 'Jacques Cousteau' her way to the top of the corporate ladder.

Jacques Cousteau by Nigel Riley-Monk September 7, 2005

The Jacques Cousteau 

The action in which a man stands over a girl, lowers his testicles over her eyes, bends his penis down and places it into her mouth. Making it look like the girl has a mask and snorkel on.

Dude last night April and I went back to my place and I totally gave her the Jacques Cousteau.

The Jacques Cousteau by jbomb108 November 3, 2009

The Jacques Cousteau 

while in shallow water, the female lays in a push-up position while the male leans over to enter from behind. the male uses one hand to hold around the female's abdomen, keeping her's and his own lower body (primarily his erection and her vaginal or anal orifice) from submerging in the water. the male's other hand is used to hold the female's head in and pull it out of the water,at his discretion.

the jacques cousteau i had last night nearly drowned me before climax.

The Jacques Cousteau by vicentethenazi June 23, 2008