I.T. SHITS 

A PERSON who uses their laptop on the toilet.

Thing 1: Hey, could you pass me some toilet paper? I have to finish my paper
Thing 2: One those I.T. Shits, huh?
Thing 1: Yep
Thing 2: Just make sure you don't get no shit on the keyboard.

I.T. SHITS by Thatfatgirl1985. December 5, 2017

I Don't Give Two Shits 

An expression, when said, means you really do not care about what someone is saying, or what's going on around you. Recommended to be said sarcastically.

Shithead Neighbor: Hey Tim!
You: Yeah, hi.
Shithead Neighbor: I won the lottery jackpot yesterday! 40 million dollars for me!
You: Well guess what? I don't give two shits if you win 40 million, or 40 cents. Get the fuck out of my face please.

I Don't Give Two Shits by ChronicClub August 18, 2016

I don't give a shits 

An ailment that causes one to not care about the consequences of their actions or give up on their goals.

"Hey man, you're getting fat again. What happened to your diet?"
"The I don't give a shits came early this year."

I don't give a shits by Gleen707 April 26, 2019

I don't give two shits 

Way of saying, I really could care less for this shit, and shut the fuck up. Wrapped up in one little phrase.

Dude #1: Hey, can you go water my plants while I'm gone?

Dude #2: I don't give two shits about your damn plants!

I don't give two shits by Waffleboy2c7 March 27, 2010

I don't give two and a half shits 

You really, REALLY don't care about what someone just told you.

Brody: Hey, I just found this really funny video I wanna show you, it's about this-

Ryan: I don't GIVE two and a half shits, alright?!

I don't give two and a half shits by MCGONN June 17, 2009

my asshole hurts from taking shits that I don’t give 

When you REALLY don’t care about anything/anyone

Toxic little kid: Dude you suck ass at this game. I don’t understand why anyone wants to play with you or even talk to you.
Me: Bro my asshole hurts from taking shits that I don’t give.
Everyone in the voice channel: *laughs*

my asshole hurts from taking shits that I don’t give by Fireguy47 September 25, 2020

I don't give two and a half shits 

Combining a reference to two and a half men and the fact that you care so little about what the other person's saying.

-Hey, guess what I was doing last night?
-You know what? I don't give two and a half shits!

I don't give two and a half shits by Deathgleaner May 24, 2010