A Fatriona is a creature of unprecedented dimensions that calls itself Catriona.
It is
disgusting, causing damage to any camera lens misfortunate enough to glimpse the creature; an odour emanates from several parts of its body, causing discomfort to those surrounding it; and the scowl often seen on its face is fierce enough to cause the bravest of men to cower before the mass off
fat and gristle before them.
Unlike many
obese creatures, the Fatriona is unable to make up for physical shortcomings with personality. It is often
rude, indecent and impolite; this results in a serious lack of
friends with the notable exception of those who pity the creature.
Fatrionas are often obsessed with male creatures, of less mass than themselves but not so
small as to be afraid of them. This male creature
will often go by the name of Greg or
Gregory and is in almost every way the opposite of the Fatriona. He
will be jovial and friendly; giving off no odour and in spite of his considerable mass
will be pleasant to look upon, with a friendly and warm expression.
The Fatriona is often jealous of those around her, especially the slimmer creatures; for any Fatriona the ultimate dislike is in the form of a
female who is able to fit into one of her trouser legs. Unfortunately there are many of these as the Fatriona is in possession of huge thighs, as wide as the trunk of an oak tree.
While amusement may be found by verbally abusing a Fatriona, the most amusement is found by wrapping it in cling film and rolling it down the steepest hill in the area (moving a Fatriona too far is impossible without specialist lifting equipment).