Epic Bail 

A type of Epic Fail: When against all attempts at compromising and rescheduling, someone/everyone bails on you.

Suitable for situations where plans were made - and invites sent - well ahead of time, with the person/all persons good to go. Then 1+ persons somehow have their whole timetable (or just the selectively relevant sections) fall through, requiring numerous rescheduling, and having every successive reschedule fall through. When a reschedule is finally agreed upon, at the latest possible time, your fickle friend/s will cancel on you, guaranteeing you the epic shits.

Sometimes it may just be one person (B); and you may nano-adjust the schedule around this person, causing scheduling conflicts galore and everyone else to bail, leaving only you and B able to attend. Then B doesn't show. Figures, really.

Of course, the term is not at all restrictive, and may apply for any case of bailure considered ridiculous or magnificent. Or ridiculously magnificent.

Epic Bails may simply be a function of Murphy's Law. However, if EBs occur on a regular basis:

- Your invitees are probably not your friends (oh well)
- Your invitees might hate your events (shitty interests, or poor event planning, or wrong invitees)
- Your invitees might just hate you (feel free to hate them back; or just get new ones)
- Your invitees secretly conspire against you (always definitely true, since paranoia never sleeps)
- You may compromise too much (learn to say no)

You've already driven to the gig/game, tickets are no longer refundable, and no one you invited showed up. On the plus side, you could try scalping the tickets and risk getting arrested in some US states.

Getting left at the altar. At least your friends won't know, because they didn't show up. They might hear about it though. From the groom.

Executing a birthday surprise, without the birthday-boy showing up. So you can not give him his cake and not eat it too.

Your girlfriend flakes on your date, and breaks up with you via SMS, AND skips town just to spite you. Hopefully it's all worth her effort. Then again, it usually is.

When the organiser bails on his own event, which everyone ironically attends.

"Dude, what was with the epic bail last night?": In the case of the truly epic bail, you won't get to utter the above. Ever. Meanwhile, have fun finding your mate Waldo/Wally - he's over where making out with Carmen Sandiego.

Epic Bail by Pick Up, Live Life January 15, 2010

epic bailure 

To commit the act(s) of an epic failure to the highest degree resulting in the realization of an immediate need to flee the location of said act(s). This attempt to flee is intended to maintain any remaining shred(s) of dignity.

1. When one finds a tasty treat dangling precariously inside a vending machine and tries to dislodge it by jump kicking the front of said machine breaking the protective glass. After such an act a turn and burn, or epic bailure if you will, is executed.

2. When attempting to park a motor carriage, an individual initiates contact with several motor carriages leaving considerable damage on all motor carriages present. This crumple-rama is now left in the dust of destruction by a rather timely epic bailure.

epic bailure by dubyaspretzelbaker August 31, 2010