EMS

Extra Marital Sex, which usually refers to the Emergency Medical Service.

Once we started an EMS service all our employees have been getting divorces.

by takinyalldown October 27, 2011

EMS

Acronym for the necessities of a teenager or college student, in the order that they do them when they get home. It stands for eat masturbate sleep.

"I'm playing COD when I get home."
"I'm too tired for that. I'll just EMS."

by SwerveDavid97 January 26, 2013

EMS

"Eat my Shit"

It's like saying "Not this time"

John: "Please let me win this race!"

Gabriel: "Ems this time."

by Philip.s February 22, 2009

EMS

Emergency Masturbation Secession
To masturbate; To Fuck oneself

Dude, I totally just EMSed - I totally just masturbate

*Lame joke told* "Go EMS right now! not even kidding, now!" - "Go Fuck yourself!"

by Chlorine Is Poisonous December 1, 2013

EMS

Eat My Shit

BOB: Hey Sally your ugly.
SALLY: STFU BOB EMS !

by poontown July 15, 2010

EMS

Eat My Shorts

In reply to someone where a smart-assed comment is to be expected: You could say EMS Eat My Shorts. Another like reply would be BM Bite Me. I didn't see that last one on your site either.

by Ossy October 10, 2009

EMS

Excessive Masturbatory Syndrome

When one masturbate's frequently often at a minimum of six times a day. Often times these individuals often pass up actual sex in order to masturbate.

Tamara: Hey Tom wanna go out on a date tonight and maybe get laid after?

Tom: Na it's ok I still have to EMS 3 more times tonight.

by MHowza August 10, 2014