EMS

Extra Marital Sex, which usually refers to the Emergency Medical Service.
Once we started an EMS service all our employees have been getting divorces.
by takinyalldown October 27, 2011
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EMS

Acronym for the necessities of a teenager or college student, in the order that they do them when they get home. It stands for eat masturbate sleep.
"I'm playing COD when I get home."
"I'm too tired for that. I'll just EMS."
by SwerveDavid97 January 27, 2013
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EMS

"Eat my Shit"

It's like saying "Not this time"
John: "Please let me win this race!"

Gabriel: "Ems this time."
by Philip.s October 18, 2008
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EMS

Emergency Masturbation Secession
To masturbate; To Fuck oneself
Dude, I totally just EMSed - I totally just masturbate

*Lame joke told* "Go EMS right now! not even kidding, now!" - "Go Fuck yourself!"
by Chlorine Is Poisonous December 01, 2013
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EMS

BOB: Hey Sally your ugly.
SALLY: STFU BOB EMS !
by poontown July 15, 2010
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EMS

In reply to someone where a smart-assed comment is to be expected: You could say EMS Eat My Shorts. Another like reply would be BM Bite Me. I didn't see that last one on your site either.
by Ossy October 10, 2009
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EMS

Excessive Masturbatory Syndrome

When one masturbate's frequently often at a minimum of six times a day. Often times these individuals often pass up actual sex in order to masturbate.
Tamara: Hey Tom wanna go out on a date tonight and maybe get laid after?

Tom: Na it's ok I still have to EMS 3 more times tonight.
by MHowza August 09, 2014
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