A type of large, amphibious slug who has incredible jumping powers. Known to eat entire small children in a single gulp, Curnews can live up to 17.36 years. Curnews use their vocal powers to spout racial and sexual slurs at every moving thing they see.

1. Blue Monday is the most depressing day of the year, calculated by Dr. Cliff Arnall, a researcher at the University of Cardiff's Center for Lifelong Learning.
Factors used to calculate the date included weather conditions, debt level, time since Christmas, time since failing our New Year's resolutions, low motivation and feeling the need to take action.

In 2005 the date was calculated as January 24th, in 2006 it was January 23rd, and in 2007 it was January 22nd.

2. A song by the hard rock band Orgy from their album Candy Ass.