A flat headed woman who gives head while you are drinking beer, taking a shit and watching football
The cockness monster attacked my dick while I was watching the Vikings beat the Packers, drinking a 40 of O.E., and shitting out the nachos I ate earlier
A large serpent bearing resemblance to a penis, often depicted swimming. Commonly drawn in school related materials by more "creative" male classmates. First recorded sighting in a homework planner in 2013.
Student 1: "What the hell is that in my book? Does it have a scrotum for a tail?"
Student 2: "It's just a drawing of the Cockness Monster."
A man who dates women with the sole purpose of exploiting their time, energy, and labor while he sucks the joy and happiness from their lives.
"That guy's a soul digger. He'll expect you to work full time, but you'll be doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and childcare while he plays video games or watches TV."
A person pretending to be something they aren't, or an impostor. This is inferred because of the old alien movies where alien pods appear on earth and the "pod people" dispose of the humans and slowly reproduce the bodies, pretending to be humans.
The pod person was pretending to be my father, but I knew that he was an alien when he acted differently than my father ever would have.