Bleached whale 

A fat homosexual with dyed blonde hair.

Hey Gaz have you seen that bleached whale at the bar?

Yeah, I'm going to try and plow him. That okay with you?

Yeah, go for it, I'm more into bears.

Wicked, you should find a bear and we'll all go back to mine and have a group sesh. my house will be like a wildlife sanctuary... designed for filth.

Bleached whale by Liam J. Lewis November 12, 2011

Awkward Beached Whale 

N. The ultimate in the range of awkward items or animals. An individual intending to correctly execute an awkward beached whale should lie face down on the ground and thrash their legs whilst pressed together as an impersonation of a whale's flipper. Then while doing this, the individual should rock from side to side whilst helplessly hitting the ground directly to their side with limp arms. The awkward beached whale is most successfully executed by lying on a floor, but it can also be executed on a table or chair.

Awkward beached whale should be used to best affect at a time of severe awkwardness which should be enough to break the ice of any situation.

*WARNING* AWKWARD BEACHED WHALE SHOULD NOT BE ATTAMPTED AT ANY INAPPROPRIATE AWKWARD TIMES SUCH AS IN A CHURCH OR IN A PROM DRESS OR TUXEDO. IT WILL CONSIDERABLY MAKE THE SITUATION MORE AWKWARD AND CAUSE PEOPLE TO TAKE OFFENCE !!!

1) Perfect time to do awkward beached whale.
(In a room where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)

Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: wow who is that crazy man ?
Person 3: "It's an awkward beached whale !"
Person 2: "haha that's hilarious"

Multiple people laugh and awkwardness stops.

2) Wrong time for an awkward beached whale.
(At a formal occassion where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)

Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: (silence)
Person 3: (silence)
Person 2: (silence)

Awkwardness increases and people ignore the individual who feels even more awkward for increasing the awkwardness and for messing up his/her formal clothes.

Awkward Beached Whale by Awkwardkingofbeachedwhales June 14, 2012

beached whale 

When you take a dump while sitting on the toilet backwards so that your fecal matter ends up on the dry part of the toilet and not in the water.

Last time I used Gabe's bathroom I left a gnarly beached whale.

beached whale by wigwam69 September 9, 2006

beached whale syndrome 

When someone particularly lazy and/or fat is assigned a task in which they have decided is too hard. They solve the problem by lying on the ground and whining/moaning resembling a beached whale. OR when one or more lazy fat people watch a more fit, less lazy person do work.

Example 1: The Freshman P.E. class got the beached whale Syndrome when they were told to run the mile.

Example 2: I couldn't answer my phone because my boss got beached whale syndrome

beached whale syndrome by Little Boots May 26, 2009

beached whale 

An individual who is confined to their bed due to their morbid obesity; one who wallows in their own excrements.

"Whoa! look at that beached whale"

beached whale by ricemond December 6, 2003

Beached Whale 

Word used to describe people called Beth.

Person #1: Yo! Did you see the new girl called Beth?
Person #2: you mean beached whale?
Person #1: ya, her.

Beached Whale by TittyBuster78 September 15, 2020

beached whale 

When fecal matter in a toilet is only partly submerged in water and partially lay on the dry porcelain of the toilet bowl.

"Shit. Look at that beached whale! Sorry brown buddy, I didn't mean to let you perish like that."

beached whale by Jerome Jenkins May 10, 2006