Pornography and wank paraphernalia spread out around an individual during the act of masterbation to allow multiple stimuli to be viewed for optimal wanking pleasure.
Dave was caught good and proper when Jim barged in and found him in the middle of his beatstation, scuds round his ankles, giving it laldy.
An implied facepalm, usually used in the form of "bertstare.jpg"; used when someone says or does something so stupid that words cannot describe how one feels, and a conventional facepalm is not worth the effort.
You: I don't take protein because I want to be all natural Me: bertstare.jpg