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Stuffing the Turkey, Beating the Jerky 

Involves fisting your asshole whilst tossing yourself off.
The resulting mixture of semen and shit can be stored and served on toast.
Tyrone: I once walked in on my little brother Stuffing the Turkey, Beating the Jerky.

Declan: Nigga yo bro be a sick fuck.

The Joys of Midwife Beating 

Before you join our little club, you cannot beat midwives with impunity.

If we allow you to join and induct you, you will be granted your Totin Chip, whereby you may beat midwives with impunity. Reducing their faces to rubble and hamburger.

It's a guy thing.
The Joys of Midwife Beating make the world a sunny place!

Jewish man wearing a traffic cone on his head while beating his meat naked on the side of the street of downtown LA while 6 to 8 members of the local Mosque watch as he then proceeds to smother ham all over his penis. 

A Jewish man wearing a traffic cone on his head while beating his meat naked on the side of the street of downtown LA while 6 to 8 members of the local Mosque watch as he then proceeds to smother ham all over his penis is basically a Jewish man who wears a traffic cone; generally used in road work and diverting traffic, on his head which is the uppermost region of the human body. Whilst he masturbates his penis on the side of a Downtown LA street while 6 to 8 Muslims from the local mosque watch him smother ham on his penis
Jew 1: did you hear that Jewish man wearing a traffic cone on his head while beating his meat naked on the side of the street of downtown LA while 6 to 8 members of the local Mosque watch as he then proceeds to smother ham all over his penis.
Jew 2: No.

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

beatin the joint 

to have sex
i just got finished beatin the joint
beatin the joint by nyaunna August 14, 2008
More from Urban Dictionary
(Ewokese) Freedom!
And dying in yo' bed many years from now, would ya be willing ta trade all da days from dis here day ta dat fo' one chance, just one chance, ta come back here as young men an' tell our enemies dat dey may take our lives but dey will never take our freedom ... YUB NUB!
yub nub by rotjrem November 4, 2010
Word of the Day on September 4, 2026
1. Meaning nasty, sexy, filthy. Popularized by Christina Aguilera.

2. Used usally as a close friend in hip-hop slang.
1. Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party Sweat drippin' over my body
Dancin' gettin' just a little naughty

2. Sup Dirrty? Haven't seen you in a while.
dirrty by Minty November 30, 2003
Word of the Day on September 3, 2026

Coyote Ugly

1. Place

The Bar came before the movie. It is an awesome bar where the girls know how to party and make you feel okay about giving up your money, drawers, bras, and dignity.

2. Movie

A story about a Jersey girl following her dreams, aided by working at this bar in New York.

3. Situation/Person/Decision

See other definitions - waking up next to someone so ugly you'd rather chew your arm off than wake them up.
1. Yo, Coyote Ugly is my favorite bar! I got whipped, stripped, drunk, and danced on the bar all before 7 o'clock!

2. Hey did you see Coyote Ugly? It actually has a plot!

3. Ugg I woke up to Coyote Ugly this morning!
Coyote Ugly by jerseycountry March 8, 2009
Word of the Day on September 2, 2026

Literally 1984 

Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.

Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.

Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!

--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021
Word of the Day on September 1, 2026

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
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