The divine pantheon of all things
Hippie.
Consists of:
- John Lennon: the God of Social Commentary and Hard Drugs
- Paul McCartney: God of Vegetarianism and Strawberries
- George
Harrison: the God of Meditation and Sunshine
- Ringo Starr: the God of
Peace, Love and Sentient Locomotives
According to the Ancient
Hippie Mythology, John Lennon hatched from an egg laid by the Walrus, and guitared the rest of the universe into existence. In an eternal strawberry field, he watered a stereo-
box for number-nine days and number-nine nights, until the stereo
box hatched, and out climbed Paul McCartney. George
Harrison was likewise formed from a drop of sun. But the Band longed for a bloody good drummer. Then, an octopus laid an egg that was hatched under a steam engine, and Ringo Starr was born.
Devout followers of Beatlemania will be rewarded in the afterlife, ferried by Mr. Conductor to the Yellow Submarine, which will take them to their eternal home of Pepperland. Sinners, however, will be rounded up by th *other* Mr. Conductor (Alec Baldwin) and shipped off to the sh*tty TV cartoon'
s universe to spend eternity in agony.
