assed up 

(adj) The unsightly appearance of a person, place or thing. Commonly used in military setting when a superior scolds a junior (or group of juniors) for not keeping his/her/their appearance, living quarters, uniform, or equipment up to a standard of cleanliness and/or organization.

Synonyms: jacked up, fucked up, screwed up

Sergeant Slapstick: "Private Dingleberry!... I KNOW you did not just fall into my formation lookin so assed up... Get your stankin' ass back in the barracks to SHAVE, PUT ON A PRESSED UNIFORM and CLEAN YOUR BOOTS, you fuckin' fuckstick!"

Drill Sergeant Payne: "WAKE UP, 1st PLATOON!!! Now I KNOW y'all didn't go to bed last night leaving my bay floor lookin' so assed up! TOE THE LINE!!!"

assed up by Bozo McScrotus June 2, 2016

Assed Up 

Assed up is most commonly used in situations when livid is too weak and fucking enraged is not acceptable language for the company in the room. It makes the elderly giggle for being wrong, yet tepid by today's standards.

Boy, the boss sure is assed up about all of us being the world's most worthless employees.

Assed Up by Optimous Douche November 26, 2014

assed up 

Rubbed ass on something such as during sex.

As the woman was passed out on the chaise lounge by the pool and rubbing her nose into it, another woman said "if she only knew how much Ron and I assed up that chair the other night."

assed up by chrispbaconass September 5, 2023

assed-up

Angry to the point of no return,usually with the outcome ending in great violence to the one who has given you"a case of the ass" to begin with.

That f#@*ing Sam has got me all assed-up over not paying me my money!

assed-up by WORSETHANSATAN September 13, 2003

assed-up

Excited to the point of distraction.

Heather got so assed-up in the meeting that she broke a nail.

assed-up by Thuggery September 20, 2005

assed up from the calves up 

used to describe a woman (usually) hu has a saggy arse.

boy 1: man! that hoe sho is assed up from the calves up!

boy 2: fligga is talking crazy. mo fo has some bitchin arse. i'd sho like to slap up, slap down and slam on that!

boy 1: fo shizzle!

assed up from the calves up by xTruth_Hurtsx May 18, 2007

Asses up

Asses up is a game played in parks, schoolyards or anywhere kids can find a large flat wall to throw a ball against, like the one in Buchmuller Park in Secaucus. The ball of choice is a sponge ball or “spongie,” or even a tennis ball. Basically, you have 2 or more kids throwing the ball against the wall and each person has to catch the ball. If you drop the ball 1 or more times (depending on the rules established), you have to put your ass up against the wall to be beaned by each other person playing the game. Sometimes, the guy throwing the ball can call out someone’s name and that person has to be the one to catch the ball. If you fail to catch the ball, ASSES UP! The game is a lot more fun if you play with fat kids who aren’t quick enough to catch the ball. Plus, their butts make great targets.

Kid 1: We are going down to Buchmuller Park to play Asses Up, are you in?

Kid 2: Be nice when throwing the ball at my butt, Dr. DeAngelis just gave me a shot of penicillin.

Asses up by shredder666 August 19, 2011