An Old Lady

An elderly lass, who by an odd occurrence swallowed a fly. Reasoning that it would be prudent to dispose of the fly as soon as possible, this old lady promptly swallowed a spider. However, she soon found that the arachnid would wriggle and tickle inside of her. Attempting to rid herself of it, the lady swallowed a bird. Presumably a smaller variety, as birds can grow to be quite large. Regardless, the fruitless adventure continued. The lady then swallowed a cat. The feral beast undoubtedly caused a great deal of discomfort on the way down, prompting the lady to take a drastic course of action. Desperate to rid herself of the newfound perplexity, she swallowed an entire cow. How in the world she managed to do this is beyond anyone's comprehension. It would appear very clear that the entirety of this problem could have been avoided if the madam had simply kept her mouth shut. Regardless, the unfortunate saga continued. The lady, obviously very near death, deemed it necessary to get rid of the cow. She swallowed a horse. The internal rupture of her organs became too great at this point, and the lady passed away in great agony.

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about what happened?
Person 2: No, what happened?
Person 1: An Old Lady died, dude.
Person 2: Oh shit! How?
Person 1: She swallowed a fly
Person 2: n00b

by Oswaldthefourth October 19, 2009

Mugging an old lady

Something I do

You are mugging an old lady

by Master oogway is daddy May 16, 2022

there was an old lady who swallowed a fly

one of the darkest children's stories ever that ends every verse with the words "Perhaps She'll Die", with the exception of the very end where the old lady is finally dead

Guy 1: Did you hear how there was an old lady who swallowed a fly?
Guy 2: No what happened to her?
Guy 1: She died
Guy 2: Why did nobody help her?
Guy 1: She died after she ate the horse.
Guy 2: Wtf!

by hitman_penguin May 7, 2013

there was an old lady with skin patches who swallowed a horse

A dark story for children that ends with the words "Perhaps She'll Die", with the exception of the very end where the old lady is finally dead.

Guy 1: Did you hear how there was an old lady with skin patches who swallowed a horse?

Guy 2: No what happened to her?

Guy 1: She died

Guy 2: Why did nobody help her?

Guy 1: She died after she ate the horse with patches and became deaf and her skin fell off

Guy 2: Wtf!

by panda_patches May 7, 2013

Old lady playin’ squat tag in an asparagus patch

When your homie starts laggin’ behind and starts being lazy as fuck

God damn it Jarvis, quit actin’ like an old lady playin’ squat tag in an asparagus patch and get movin.’

by Don’tbelievethehype August 1, 2020