Alagorithm

A blend of allegory and algorithm: an ancestral rule that computes. An alagorithm is a story, proverb, ritual, or dance that encodes a step-by-step procedure for wise action, wisdom you can execute.
Long before Silicon Valley wrote algorithms, cultures around the world (especially across Africa) were writing alagorithms: parables that solved problems, dances that encoded governance, proverbs that ran like code across generations. An algorithm tells a machine what to do. An alagorithm tells a human how to live.

My grandmother never studied computer science, but 'the child who asks questions never gets lost' is a whole alagorithm, input a hard situation, run the proverb, output a wise decision.

Alagorithm by Scentora July 9, 2026

algorithmic critical mass

algorithmic critical mass — the Urban Dictionary principle that states: the more words you enter into the Urban Dictionary, the easier it is to add words to the Urban Dictionary.

This is especially true if you make the words you add refer to your previous words based on known linguistic principles. In this way the algorithm reflects aspects of your mind; and your mind becomes one with the algorithm as well.

There is something more frightening than artificial intelligence and that is computer intelligence that merges with the mind of humankind.

What happens when infinite computing power merges with the full potential of the brain. I don’t know because I waste my mind on adding Urban Dictionary entries instead of contemplating more weighty problems.

But you have got to admit that that is an awesome Afrofuturistic observation.

If you add enough word to the Urban Dictionary you will reach an algorithmic critical mass where the algorithm will reflect your mind; and, your mind will reflect the algorithm.

algorithmic critical mass by Mind Hunter the Profiler April 7, 2023

Correct Answer Algorithm 

(kə-rekt’ - æn’sɜ:ʳ - æl’gə-rɪð’əm)
n.

A step-by-step problem-solving procedure, especially an established, computational procedure to transmogrify incorrect answers into answers found in the back of textbooks.

X = Fғ ∙ Xᴜ + Cғ

where
Fғ = Fudge Factor,
Xᴜ = the undesired answer,
Cғ = Finagle’s Constant

The Fudge Factor is simply the number, 0, and Finagle’s Constant is the answer in the back of the book (or any other answer that might be preferred instead of the current answer.)

Let’s take this baby out for a spin & see how it works...

Suppose you’ve been asked to solve

    eˣ ⁺ ³ = 5

which requires the use of a natural logarithm which you don’t know how to do because you spent your time in your high school math class doing EHAP homework & texting your friends who are now sitting in the same junior college remedial math class you are.

Since you have no chance of using the $200 TI-89 that mommy & daddy bought you to actually solve this equation, you instead use it like a $10 TI-15 & find a brute force, guess-and-check, decimal solution of x = -1.39 . Whew!

You look in the back of the book & see the answer is “-3 + ln 5”. Dang! You’re screwed because this teacher means business & only accepts answers showing all work & matching the answer in the back of the book.

Not so fast… now’s the time to pull out the *Correct Answer Algorithm*…

X = Fғ ∙ Xᴜ + Cғ

Fғ = Fudge Factor = 0
Xᴜ = the undesired answer = -1.39
Cғ = Finagle’s Constant = -3 + ln 5

X = Fғ ∙ Xᴜ + Cғ

= (0) ∙ (-1.39) + (-3 + ln 5)

= 0 + (-3 + ln 5)

= -3 + ln 5

Voilà! A "solution" showing "work" that produces the correct answer!

While this transmogrification works 100% of the time, you do run the risk of pushing your teacher to the point of mumbling stuff like "Well, even if you did show all your work, it isn't the 'Correct' work", "Only three years till retirement", or correctly identifying you as an incorrigible smart ass.

Correct Answer Algorithm by Helmut Meinschaftgefülenberger June 28, 2011

Galicic Algorithm

When someone tries to find an alternative way of using a program, tells everyone their fix, but doesn't realise they are incorrect. Usually ends with a heap of laughter and shit talking

Look, the old Galicic Algorithm strikes again.
Q. Why doesn't this spreadsheet work? A. Looks like "someone" has been using the Galicic Algorithm

Galicic Algorithm by Dale_S May 30, 2021

algorithm 

Something programmers use when they don't want to explain their code.

How did you translate the data from the hashtable to a few characters?
An algorithm.

How did you make the game run faster?
I optimized the running time of the algorithm.

algorithm by IHazABone March 15, 2015

Algorithm 

The mythical genie that lives on the internet that controls what will go viral.

Hey man, have you figured out how to get on the youtube trending page.

Yea man, you need to please the youtube algorithm

Algorithm by holy guacomole February 24, 2020

Gaethje algorithm 

The cultural internet phenomenon where footage of the world's most badass MMA lightweight warrior, Justin Gaethje, keeps getting recommended on a massive level.

Man, I love to watch the Diaz Brothers fight, but when I see the Gaethje algorithm pop up, it's time to watch James Vick getting obliterated.

Gaethje algorithm by The Archgoat August 26, 2021