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I am Aktofel
Aktofel by Knowledge books November 22, 2021
Urban Dictionary Merch

autofellatiography 

A self-written biographical sketch, such as one submitted in support of an award application, in which the writer plays up and exaggerates their own accomplishments, giving themselves a symbolic blow job.
"I got nominated for employee of the year, but now they're making me write an autofellatiography. I'm gagging."
autofellatiography by Fishbert December 16, 2008

Assisted Autofelletio 

Background: Autofelletio is the act of performing fellatio on one's self.

The assisted autofelletio is achieved with the help of another person. As one person attempts autofelletio the second person pushes down on the shoulders in unison with the up and down motion of the first person.

The first person can use a free hand to increase stimulation during assisted autofelletio.
Bill: "Last night Jackie didn't want to give me a blow job but she helped me blow myself"

Rob: "You got her to give you assisted autofelletio?"

Bill: "Totally!"
Assisted Autofelletio by Jack Itoff December 22, 2010

autofellatio 

The art of sucking your own cock
The artist formally known, as the artist formally known as the artist, leant over and sucked himself until he came.
autofellatio by spylad August 11, 2003

autofellator 

A man who can suck his own manhood
Damn that guy is a real autofellator
autofellator by Uber caMeL! September 14, 2003

autofelatio 

try this: curl into a ball and suck yourself. congrats, ur performing autofelatio
"DUDE that's SICK! He's givin himself head!"
autofelatio by SLEEZ December 22, 2004

Autofellatio 

The act of a man in puberty or older fellating, or sucking, his own penis as a form of masturbation. Another term for this is selfsuck. It feels amazing and tastes really good, trust me. Unfortunately only a small percentage of the population has the combined dick size and flexibility required to be able to do this.
I am in the low percentage who can do autofellatio on will. First, take off all your clothes, including pants and shirt and lay onto a soft surface like a bed. Then roll your legs up and behind your head. Keep at least part of your back or shoulders on the bed. Start stroking your penis and stretch your head as close as possible. Keep stroking until it is hard, and touch it with your mouth. Seal the head of the cock in your lips, and lick the skin around it with your tongue. Push the cock further in your mouth while licking it and occasionally sucking it. Do it slowly at first but gradually go faster over time. When you are about to cum, go as quickly as possible and let yourself nut in your mouth. Feel and taste the warm semen being pumped on your tongue, and swallow every drop of it. A great way to relieve your sexual stress with no required cleanup that allows you to perceive both perspectives at the same time. That is autofellatio.
More from Urban Dictionary
A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.
Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.
Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026
Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot 

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".
Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."
God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011
Word of the Day on September 18, 2026
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