Located 3.4 miles outside of wigan, England, Appley Bridge is a pleasent hillside village which is seen by many as a pleasent place to live. Its pleasentness is complimented by lack of chavs, hillside-ness, quiet village-ness, and its friendly youth population.
Did I say youth population? Oh yes, by day, they are fully civil, sentient, caring
human beings but at night, they stem fear into Appley Bridge via the vein of living out the prime evils that lay deep in their subconscious, which contain ideas for acts of terrorising the non watching population of
the village. These horrid acts of fear include stealing flags, traffic cones, random pro wrestling competitions in back gardens, drinking, and generally, burning down
the fucken house. And, quite frankly dear, they don't give a single dick riddling shit if the ice cream melts.
Legend has it that you cant be physically harmed in Appley Bridge. It attracts around 2.3 people a month due to this legend, but
of course, it isn't true.
Wife : "Yo bitch, I heard you cant get
physically harmed in Appley Bridge!"
Husband : "Would you please shut
your fat tits up about Appley Bridge?"
Wife : "...bi'tch, imma
fuck you up"
