self pleasurer

A self pleasurer is a human being who you hire for a going rate of 5 cents a minute. She/he/it will grab you penis/vagina and masturbate the specific genital for you.
"Oh that self pleasurer called Savraj was a charmer," Said Henry.
by Master Bates 1000 April 24, 2016
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self sealer

when one takes a shit and the poo is so perfect it does not need a single wipe of toilet paper. This means that your buttocks has securely sealed itself without aid of toilet paper to wipe the excrement.
Dave: wow, I just did the most amazing shit

Haley: oh really?

Dave: yes, it was a self sealer too!!

Haley: I'm proud of you, dave. This is what dreams are made of.
by golddustskies September 25, 2013
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Self machine

Another name for a human so called because most humans are very very selfish. They only look out for there own asses and if you can look out for or help your self that just tough.
Most people are just self machines.
by Judge dredd7 June 01, 2011
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self-jettison

to throw yourself down to the floor
Stairs are often unsafe, with a high temptation to self-jettison oneself down them.
by PontificatingPants April 25, 2019
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Self-gay

The act of sucking one's own dick or pleasuring your own anal cavity.
"I'm tired of not getting my dick blown , so I'm going to suck myself off".

"Yo bro, that shit is self-gay".
by Chuchinkuchu August 18, 2017
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self pour

the act of pouring; tipping; emptying an entire glass; bottle; any other type of container over oneself.
Liquid is most commonly in the form of alcohol, however others such as milk can be used.
Lynn watched hysterically as Paul and Daniel used a carton of stolen milk for a self pour in the shower room.

Did you see Chris self pour last night, he tipped a fish bowl straight over his head.

Simon, that self pour was poor, only a glass of water? You should be ashamed.
by Zachary DeMarachelle December 01, 2007
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Self-Retardation

The act of of making unintelligent decisions redundantly causing a self-inflicted retardation.
"Josh wasn't born mentally handicap, he suffers from self-retardation for repeatedly seeing girls illegally."
by jbiddle August 21, 2011
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