Sickomonster's definitions

app parkour

When you’re manic af and jump from app to app on your phone like you’re Spiderman

I burned 0 calories today doing app parkour! Sick

by Sickomonster December 23, 2020

Ecogoth

An earth maiden who believes that death is LIFE. She loves shit talking about you with her plant and animal friends. It looks like she dresses in all black but it’s just dirt and soil

If you date an ecogoth expect to only be a sidedick...her #1 beau is Planet Earth

by Sickomonster December 23, 2020

Schrödinger's Douchebag

A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him.

Watch out, Susie! That guy is Schrödinger's Douchebag, he’ll trap you in a thought-experiment without your consent!

by Sickomonster December 24, 2020

dreamcreep

When someone you know irl shows up in your dreams. Usually you want this person to fuck your brains out.

I haven’t had sex in months, of course I let Karl dreamcreep on me. For fuck’s sake I don’t even remember what sex is like. I’ll take anything I can get.

by Sickomonster December 28, 2020

it all circles back to whack

A phrase that sums up the uroboros of fuckery everyone endures as a human being on this planet.

Usually said in response to a friend recounting a fucked up situation when no words suffice.

S: Remember how I told you last week that Dean wouldn’t stop talking about the “perfectly shaped hole” in the oak in the backyard? Well today I walked in on him...fucking the tree!
M: Can’t say I’m surprised. It all circles back to whack.

by Sickomonster December 28, 2020

Laika

An extremely photogenic stray mongrel from the streets of Moscow and the first animal to orbit the earth. A badass pup. Accomplished more in life than you.

Laika was the first cosmonaut. Outer space is haunted by her barks. We must remember her as a hero.

by Sickomonster December 30, 2020

dirtpilled

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak

by Sickomonster December 30, 2020