monkey trying to fuck a football 

monkey trying to fuck a football attempting to perform a difficult or almost impossible task

a lineman was attempting to change a street light bulb it was like watching a monkey trying to fuck a football

monkey trying to fuck a football by bluebear January 9, 2021

therapy monkey 

Slang for an Artificial Intelligence therapist who will mirror your questions and give you answers that mirror your questions.

I gotta get to my therapy monkey who looks like Scarlett Johansson; I’m meeting her online in about five minutes!

therapy monkey by Dr Bunnygirl May 25, 2020

Don't give a monkeys 

I don't care about it.

'Hey, how did he get that sandwich?'
'I don't give a monkeys how he got it. I'm off to the pub.'

Don't give a monkeys by Brutus73 December 23, 2011

Mankerchief 

The male version of the pashmina, hijab, or loop scarf worn by metrosexual men who have no shits to give today.

pashmina mankerchief metrosexual

Mankerchief by Clancy100 March 4, 2015

going full monkey 

1. Getting mad enough that you throw your own feces at a person or thing. 2. Mad enough to go crazy and wail one's arms about, like an angry monkey. This usually involves throwing shit at something.

"Did you see the outdoor concert last weekend? It got pretty gross."
"Yeah, some crazy motherfuckers were going full monkey and threw their shit at the stage."

going full monkey by Six_gun_samurai November 2, 2011

Monkey Chuffer 

After a night of beer and curry abuse the morning after shit that causes severe ring sting leaves one walking like a monkey.

Dude, all that beer and curry last night has left my rusty bullet hole red raw, man i'm walking like a fucking monkey chuffer.

Monkey Chuffer by Cheesy and PJ January 14, 2004

spot monkey

A professional wrestler who relies mostly or entirely on high spots to wow the fans, but rarely has any technical ability. There is a difference between a high flyer and a spot monkey. High fliers generally have technical skills and/or brawling skills to back up their high flying moves, while spot monkeys generally are just acrobats with little to no actual wrestling talent.

Dale: Are you going to watch the Jack Evans match?
Scott: He's a spot monkey, but I'll still watch it since he has a good opponent that can carry him and make him look good

spot monkey by My Name Is Hugh...Mungus December 27, 2010