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A city in western Spain, located on top of a big, flat mountain. It was made famous thanks to a battle at which the Duke of Wellington’s British and Portuguese troops thrashed the French while the Duke’s Spanish allies enjoyed a relaxing siesta after a hearty lunch of pig (see “Cuisine” below).
PEOPLE - Populated by a curious mixture of Castilian locals (“Salmantinos”) and American students. For nine months of the year, the Salmantinos walk the streets, wearing at least four layers of clothing, a hat, scarf and gloves, and complaining about the cold. For the other three months, they wear at least two layers of clothing and a hat, and complain about the heat. At all times, the Americans walk the streets, remarking that everything is “gee, really neat”. Both the Salmantinos and Americans secretly wished that they lived in Andalusia.
CLIMATE - Cold, very cold, f**king freezing, or f**king boiling.
ACCENT - The Salmatinos (unsuccessfully) mimick the accent of their better-spoken neighbours, the good people of Valladolid.
CUISINE - The Salmantinos enjoy a varied diet of roast pig, pork sausages and ham, sometimes eating a stew made with all three and a few boiled chickpeas thrown in. Fish lovers can choose from trout stuffed with ham or trout wrapped in ham. On special occasions (see below), it is traditional to eat a pig pasty.
SPECIAL OCCASIONS - On the second Monday after Easter Sunday, the Salmantinos celebrate the return of prostitutes to the city following Lenten abstinence. Female Salmantinos bake a pig pasty which is eaten by male Salmantinos so they have lots of energy for their evening in the puticlub (brothel).
MONUMENTS - The Plaza Mayor features a plaque to the City’s founder, the Duke of Wellington. Not content with one cathedral, the city has two - both of which are quite good.
THINGS TO DO - Learn genuine Salamancan Spanish - “¡Ay, qué frío! ¡Ay, qué calor! ¡Ojalá viviera en Andalucía!" - with a genuine Salamancan accent - “Gee, Salamanca es una ciudad realmente neat!”. Alternatively, catch a train to Portugal, Avila or Valladolid.
PEOPLE - Populated by a curious mixture of Castilian locals (“Salmantinos”) and American students. For nine months of the year, the Salmantinos walk the streets, wearing at least four layers of clothing, a hat, scarf and gloves, and complaining about the cold. For the other three months, they wear at least two layers of clothing and a hat, and complain about the heat. At all times, the Americans walk the streets, remarking that everything is “gee, really neat”. Both the Salmantinos and Americans secretly wished that they lived in Andalusia.
CLIMATE - Cold, very cold, f**king freezing, or f**king boiling.
ACCENT - The Salmatinos (unsuccessfully) mimick the accent of their better-spoken neighbours, the good people of Valladolid.
CUISINE - The Salmantinos enjoy a varied diet of roast pig, pork sausages and ham, sometimes eating a stew made with all three and a few boiled chickpeas thrown in. Fish lovers can choose from trout stuffed with ham or trout wrapped in ham. On special occasions (see below), it is traditional to eat a pig pasty.
SPECIAL OCCASIONS - On the second Monday after Easter Sunday, the Salmantinos celebrate the return of prostitutes to the city following Lenten abstinence. Female Salmantinos bake a pig pasty which is eaten by male Salmantinos so they have lots of energy for their evening in the puticlub (brothel).
MONUMENTS - The Plaza Mayor features a plaque to the City’s founder, the Duke of Wellington. Not content with one cathedral, the city has two - both of which are quite good.
THINGS TO DO - Learn genuine Salamancan Spanish - “¡Ay, qué frío! ¡Ay, qué calor! ¡Ojalá viviera en Andalucía!" - with a genuine Salamancan accent - “Gee, Salamanca es una ciudad realmente neat!”. Alternatively, catch a train to Portugal, Avila or Valladolid.
I'm going to study in Salamanca. It's oniy an hour or so from cool places like Avila and Valladolid.
by ayayay April 6, 2008
Get the Salamanca mug.A woman whos pussy smells like tuna that has been left out in the sun for eight hours, or more. It occurs from the lack of hygene, and the fact that she has had at least five loads of jizz pumped in her daily, since sixth grade.
Kris MillSPAWN has the nastiest Salmon Snatch I have ever sniffed. 200 gallons of bleach and perfume could not get that to smell halfway decent. Has she ever though about cleaning it out every 3000 miles?? My god-what a nasty ho.
by J.R. Cahoon June 28, 2004
Get the Salmon Snatch mug.A versitile woman, NOT to be confused with a reptile. Salamanders are amphibious, so by nature they adapt to their environments. They also are not to be toyed with. You think they are fragile and helpless,WRONG!! Try to eat a Salamander for breakfast and see what happens!!!! YOU DIE, DUH Poisonous hahahaha!! Salamander just crawls right on out your mouth and moseys on down the road. There are 550 different species of Salamanders, so no worries,you'll find a Salamander right for you out there somewhere......... Hopefully you won't be the guy stuck with a Newt, ewwwww worts, jus sayin, she's the ugly step sister so to speak!!!!
by SalamanderBrooks1483 May 22, 2013
Get the Salamander mug.A shot of tequila, immediately followed by a double-shot of V8 juice, followed by a small glass of orange juice. Drink in rapid succession.
by big_fisch July 13, 2011
Get the Salmon Run mug.Originated in the Hudson Valley, New York.
The akward salmon is another member of the awkward animal clan. It is probably one of the funniest ones out there.
During an akward silence, it works just like the awkward turtle to relieve tension.
You put one hand flat and then slap the other hand onto the flat one alternating back-front-back-front etc, to look like a fish slapping on the floor of a boat.
The sound is the best part.
The akward salmon is another member of the awkward animal clan. It is probably one of the funniest ones out there.
During an akward silence, it works just like the awkward turtle to relieve tension.
You put one hand flat and then slap the other hand onto the flat one alternating back-front-back-front etc, to look like a fish slapping on the floor of a boat.
The sound is the best part.
So...last night I walked into my grandma and grandpa gettin' frisky.
...silence...
Uhh....AWKWARD SALMON *slapslapslapslapslapslap*
...silence...
Uhh....AWKWARD SALMON *slapslapslapslapslapslap*
by The Awkward Expert December 18, 2007
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