christmas
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Christmas
(pl. Christmasses)
1. n. The holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Falling conveniently on the 25th of December, supposedly declared by the Catholic Church to eclipse a Pagan holiday (winter solstice) on the same day.
2. n. A heart touching season where gift giving is promoted, and Santa Claus is every youth's hero. Other Christmas icons include: reindeer, snowmen, elves, presents, pine trees, ornaments, tinsel, holy, yule logs, sleighs, mistletoe, carols, noel, angels, golden rings, calling birds, french hens, turtledoves, birds in fruit-bearing trees.
3. v. To celebrate Christmas
1. n. The holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Falling conveniently on the 25th of December, supposedly declared by the Catholic Church to eclipse a Pagan holiday (winter solstice) on the same day.
2. n. A heart touching season where gift giving is promoted, and Santa Claus is every youth's hero. Other Christmas icons include: reindeer, snowmen, elves, presents, pine trees, ornaments, tinsel, holy, yule logs, sleighs, mistletoe, carols, noel, angels, golden rings, calling birds, french hens, turtledoves, birds in fruit-bearing trees.
3. v. To celebrate Christmas
1. Character 1: "Hey, wanna come over to my house on Christmas and read the bible and celebrate the birth of our savior?"
Character 2: "Nah, I'm planning on celebrating the Pagan holiday for the Winter Solstice, which coincidentally falls on your holiday, and involves many of the same practices"
Character 1: "Screw you."
2. Character 1: "I can't wait til Christmas Time, when I can spend my hard-earned cash on presents that will probably be given away, only to get crappy woven sweaters in return!"
Character 2: "Don't be bitter, just give them your car keys and report it stolen the next day."
3. Character 1: "So what are you planning to do over the holidays?"
Character 2: "Oh, I'm going to be Christmassing with my peeps in G-Town, how bout you?"
Character 1: "Oh, what a relief, I thought you were Jewish."
Character 2: "Nah, I'm planning on celebrating the Pagan holiday for the Winter Solstice, which coincidentally falls on your holiday, and involves many of the same practices"
Character 1: "Screw you."
2. Character 1: "I can't wait til Christmas Time, when I can spend my hard-earned cash on presents that will probably be given away, only to get crappy woven sweaters in return!"
Character 2: "Don't be bitter, just give them your car keys and report it stolen the next day."
3. Character 1: "So what are you planning to do over the holidays?"
Character 2: "Oh, I'm going to be Christmassing with my peeps in G-Town, how bout you?"
Character 1: "Oh, what a relief, I thought you were Jewish."
christmas
An unholy plot to infest the hearts and minds of everyone with advertizements, commercialism, worthless products, and money-mongering. Devized by pagans. Modified by Catholics. Exploited by the international banker consortium.
Christmas has nothing to do with Jesus Christ and everything to do with oppressive routine-based worldy traditions and money.
Burn all Christmas trees and credit cards!
Burn all Christmas trees and credit cards!
christmas by Iggy Hazard January 16, 2004
Christmas
syn. to Yule/Yuletide, originally a pagan holiday incorporated into the Christian religion to ease the shock of converting the pagans. jesus was born around april 19th.
In order to convert the germanic huns, jesus was portrayed as a warrior, in order to convert the romans, he was displayed as a kind but fierce saint. in both instances holidays were absorbed into the christian religion so that the new converts would not have to rememorize holidays and festivals.
christmas
A christian festival held on the 25th of december that most non christians use as an excuse to get presents.
Christmas
Christmas is an ancient Pagan celebration of the birth of the sun that was later taken over by Christians and turned into the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Nowadays this holidy has lost all meaning, and ties to religion as far as im concerned. It is currently used as a reason to consume more shit mass produced in Chinese sweatshops by children (and sold by a fat pedophile, see Santa), drink too much egg nog, and get fat by eating too much fucking ham.
Oh, its December, time to listen to the fat pedophile and sell out to the corporations by buying overpriced meaningless plastic "gifts" for all my family and friends....for Jesus.
Or as Jim Gaffigan once said in regards to Christmas.
"I'm gonna take this pine tree and stick it in the living room, then we're gonna put our socks above the fireplace...fill 'em with candy, them I'm gonna put some leaves on the cieling and see if I can get some action"
Or as Jim Gaffigan once said in regards to Christmas.
"I'm gonna take this pine tree and stick it in the living room, then we're gonna put our socks above the fireplace...fill 'em with candy, them I'm gonna put some leaves on the cieling and see if I can get some action"