by A Schlatt Fan December 27, 2022

When you stay up during the witching hours playing chess by yourself because everyone is sleeping or far away from the scope of control.
Person 1: "sorry man i cant stay up any longer, i'm too tired."
Person 2: It's ok, i'll be staying up Playing chess with the poltergeist That'll keep me busy."
Person 2: It's ok, i'll be staying up Playing chess with the poltergeist That'll keep me busy."
by Capuchin for Hire March 30, 2022

Chess has a lot of double standards feminists don't mention when whining about social justice, like a queen being able to move freely while the king can move one space at a time, and it's a lot like life, though life is not a game to everyone.
The queen is the most free piece on a chess board, and yet feminists still try to claim they are marginalized somehow, when really they only were in the past on the surface, though those times are in the past, assuming they are exactly as bad as feminists describe them in terms of historical accuracy. Female children don't get ass whoopings from authority figures such as parents, in what way have females always not had it made in life? It's males that are fucked, they get the short end of the stick on everything.
by The Original Agahnim September 1, 2021

Law's Theory of Chess References has two main points.
1. After a while, in any argument, debate or discussion, there will inevitably be a reference to a chess piece, chess tactic, chess master, or something Chess like.
“Control of the patent rights will signal checkmate to their actions against us.”
“You don’t have to be a chess master to understand how this simple pyramid scheme will make us all rich. Yes a check, make it out to cash, will be quite acceptable”
“ The Wrestler considered his suplex the best part of his end-game arsenal.”
Note: It is not a Chess reference if you refer to a disreputable rapscallion, as having a ‘Checkered past”
2. In any sporting event, no more than ten minutes into the start of any contest, one or several of the sportscasters will utter some variation of "It's a chess match, with these two coaches, every time they meet in competition."
Note in the final 2 minutes of any NBA or NCAA College Basketball game, any substitution of good rebounders, good outside shooters, taller defenders, versus best free throw percentage shooters, requires that one or more sports commentators speak these words:
1. After a while, in any argument, debate or discussion, there will inevitably be a reference to a chess piece, chess tactic, chess master, or something Chess like.
“Control of the patent rights will signal checkmate to their actions against us.”
“You don’t have to be a chess master to understand how this simple pyramid scheme will make us all rich. Yes a check, make it out to cash, will be quite acceptable”
“ The Wrestler considered his suplex the best part of his end-game arsenal.”
Note: It is not a Chess reference if you refer to a disreputable rapscallion, as having a ‘Checkered past”
2. In any sporting event, no more than ten minutes into the start of any contest, one or several of the sportscasters will utter some variation of "It's a chess match, with these two coaches, every time they meet in competition."
Note in the final 2 minutes of any NBA or NCAA College Basketball game, any substitution of good rebounders, good outside shooters, taller defenders, versus best free throw percentage shooters, requires that one or more sports commentators speak these words:
"Yet another substitution, Yes, it has become a chess match, " and the Color Commentator again paid homage to Law's Theory of Chess References before the 3rd quarter.
by knightwithoutarmoire May 7, 2020

by djrympled January 20, 2018

One of the world's oldest games, chess is classified as a board game, but is more like a mental sport, and is actually a massive example of the Dunning-Kruger effect. No matter how good you are at the game, you still suck, even the greatest players know they suck, and if you think you are good, you most DEFINITELY suck. All chess tournaments are competitions of who sucks least, everybody sucks to some degree, unless your name is Magnus Carlsen, and even he sucks next to a computer. It is believed (though not proven) that a perfectly-played game of chess will always end in a draw, and when someone wins, it is always because the other person fucked up.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
I play chess because I hate myself.
by q359 July 24, 2023

by susuhhsug March 20, 2019
