Volkswagens are arguably the most unreliable vehicles on the road to
date. Initially engineered by a political regime predicated upon the hatred of Jewish
people, these vehicles pose a threat to motorists all over the world. There is much confusion over the origins of the word “toxic asset”, but most
people have now come to accept that it was coined by Volkswagen mechanics. If you
ever do experience engine failure, there is usually no need to
call emergency services as the plume of black smoke emanating from the engine
bay is usually enough to alert the authorities. Some of the other pleasantries one can experience with Volkswagen ownership are extensive understanding of engine related diagnostics procedures and a heightened sense of a mechanical aptitude. Most Volkswagen owners can usually pass the Automotive Service Excellence exam in under 15 minutes on their first
try. Even more disappointing than Volkswagen’s reliability, the interior of these cars is more frail than an osteoporosis patient – it is akin to entirely furnishing your house with IKEA furniture. Most owners have reported that once they purchased the
car from an accredited Volkswagen dealer, the dealership disappeared over
night. The causes for this behavior are well documented; most dealerships do not want to explain to customers why the
car burst into flames, the
radio does not
work, the transmission slips, the airbags never deployed or why Volkswagen is number 1 in the auto industry for recalls.
Honda Owner: "Wow, I only spent $30 to
get my sparkplugs replaced!"
Volkswagen Owner: "Good for you. I had to take a second
mortgage on my house to repair that VW fag-backet in my drive
way".