microplastic control group

The terrifying realization that we live in a society where the world's most powerful individuals couldn't be half-assed to care about plastic waste, and that there are now microplastics inside of every living person on earth.
There is plastic in YOUR testicles RIGHT NOW!

Originated from an attempted science experiment where researchers tried to find the effect of microplastics in humans, but couldn't find anyone without microplastics inside of them

person 1: "bro everyone is so stupid nowadays"
person 2: "microplastic control group ahh situation"

by john blinker September 28, 2025

Microwaved Mel Gibson

RFK Jr’s nickname due to his puffy face and fake suntan.

There goes Microwaved Mel Gibson once again offering medical advice he is unqualified to be giving out.

by LaughingAloud October 9, 2025

Microphone Blowdryer

The act in which someone rips cheeks into a microphone so someone on the other end can hear it. It is also used for sexual pleasure as you sniff the microphone with it being so close to your nose already.

Jared - Bro what was that noise
You - Sorry I was just doing a Microphone Blowdryer to myself

by Dinomax65 October 18, 2025

Microwaving Bacon

The act of using mayo packets to aggressively beat your hog to Russell Wilsons dangerwich commercial.

"Did you guys hear about colin?"

"His mom walked in on him microwaving bacon last night."

by Willard24 November 5, 2025

Microsoft Edger

A chronically online tech nerd/gooner with a really small penis that likes to go online a lot and goon. Usually a Reddit user with a neck beard that has no life yet enjoys going online to post dumb shit or belittle others. Not all of them wear fedoras, but some do. Commonly also found on Discord

Hey, did you see the way that person on fb replied to me? It’s giving real Microsoft Edger energy……

by Can you burn a Luigi board November 17, 2025

Microsoft Paradox

When Windows demands that you change your password, but the only way to do it is through the Microsoft cloud portal, which is locked behind Microsoft Authenticator… and that piece of shit app just spins forever like it’s personally fucking you. The perfect loop of corporate incompetence.

Why is Amber drinking at work?
The Microsoft Paradox raw-dogged her entire morning.

by BranDamag3 November 19, 2025

microgoogle

when you Google something but only for a second so you only see the first couple lines on each website

hey jerry I microgoogle what oil my car needs.

by akv_official December 7, 2025