UPS Ground Service 

The bottom rung of UPS delivery options. Basically, it's delivery within 2 to 8 business days, not counting Saturday(which is usually an extra grand). This is what really happens: your package arrives on the 2nd or 3rd day to a location 3 to 4 miles away from you and just sits around (GROUNDED) till it's delivery on the 8th or 9th day. You hear a loud thud on your porch, then the doorbell rings and when you open the door you see a dented package and a brown truck peeling out.

Guy#1: Has your UPS Ground Service package arrived yet?

Guy#2: Nope, I'll be collecting social security or six feet under before that thing arrives.

Guy#1: Yeah, next time use USPS Priority. It'll get there ahead of schedule and in one piece.

Guy#2: Thanks, dude. I'll remember that.

UPS Ground Service by Alleycat1969 September 28, 2012

terms of service and privacy policy 

some shit no one reads but gets spam from all the time

Definitions are subject to our terms of service and privacy policy

terms of service and privacy policy by holeiotiktok.com February 4, 2020

Terms of Service 

A long page listing out rules and conditions you must abide by in order to use a service. When seen on the internet, these terms are often ignored, as all the user must do is click the "I Accept" button at the bottom. If you read or attempt to read a page listing Terms of Service on the internet more than once in your life, you should schedule a doctor's appointment soon to test for possible Down Syndrome.

"Ugh, I don't want to read the Terms of Service! They all mean the same thing."

*Clicks "I Accept" button*

Terms of Service by IlikeTurdulz June 11, 2011

Full Service Lube Job 

A blow job in which the guy cums in the girl's mouth and she then swallows it

(The guy is cleaning the 'old' fluid out of his pipes and replacing it with fresh fluid)

MOCO and Lisa are firm believers in the Full Service Lube Job!

Full Service Lube Job by MOCO & P-Phat February 11, 2009

nervous in the service 

acting extremely anxious and nervous for a prolongued period before an extremely important event. Mostly applied to sexual intercourse, when becoming nervous in the service can lead to premature ejaculation, no ejaculation, and/ or death.

Did John tell you about his sexual encounter?

No, how did it go?

Let's just say he got a little bit nervous in the service.

nervous in the service by LaChad June 23, 2007

Minerals Management Service 

(US GOVERNMENT) Agency of the US Department of the Interior. The name has since been changed to "Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation and Enforcement" (BOEMRE). The laws related to minerals management in the United States are possibly the most poorly thought-out in the developed world, and were largely designed as a strategy to launder money through crooked politicians. The MMS was created manage the oceanic coastal shelf (OCS) resources, and naturally it became one of the most notorious dens of corruption seen in the entire world.

The MMS is set up so that the temptation to be sleazy is almost impossible to resist; indeed, taking bribes is practically standard operating procedure in this agency. That's because the MMS was responsible for enforcing environmental and safety regulations on things like offshore drilling platforms, and yet made its income from revenues from the lessors it was regulating.

MMS officials would actually let oil company staff fill out inspection checklists in pencil, so that MMS inspectors would then fill them out as the operators wanted.

Given Minerals Management Service pencil whipping in the Gulf prospects*, it was a miracle that Transocean was ever cited for safety violations at all.

MMS is famous for parties in which executives of oil companies went drabbing with federal managers.
___________________________
*Here, a prospect is an area where oil prospecting occurs

Minerals Management Service by Primus Intra Pares July 24, 2010

Knights In Service of Satan 

A common misconception is that the great rock and roll band KISS's name stands for Knights In Service of Satan. While a clever backronym, KISS is in fact put in all caps solely for emphasis.

Dude! KISS rocks! But it doesn't actually mean Knights In Service of Satan.

Knights In Service of Satan by Baraldo September 12, 2006