bare-handed double play

a regrettable phenomenon, most typically occurring on a diaper table, wherein an undiapered baby "drops a deuce" then encores with a "golden shower", as (s)he is being adjusted to fit into the clean diaper. As the definition implies, the resultant fluids thoroughly coat the adult's hands, typically through a disgusting direct hit. Silently enduring this or laughing aloud is a sure evidence of evolutionary fitness; why else would one tolerate a little person relieving him/herself directing onto one's hands?

While "turning a bare-handed double play" is among the most vaunted and skillful of infielders' defensive plays, it is among the lowest of indignities on the diaper table. Though it does also require quick thinking and defensive maneuvers to keep fluids off clothes and clean diapers and changing pads, any such heroics are outweighed by the hilarious, disgusting and deflating fact of hands covered in baby urine and poop.

by Henry's Dad August 28, 2010

handsex

The act of grasping one's cock with a kung fu grip while thrusting one's pelvis until climax. Handsex differs from normal masturbation since the practitioner must engage in autoerotic thoughts or watch tranny porn while reaching orgasm.

JNN wanted to have some Handsex but couldn't find his copy of chicks with dicks III, so he had too rub while staring intently into his mother's make up mirror.

by KingSnizzle September 1, 2006

left-handers

Someone who smokes cannabis; a stoner. A normal cigarette is called a "right-handed cigarette" and a joint is called a "left-handed cigarette". This is a special code used to allow people to speak freely in public about their plans to smoke pot.

"It smells like left-handers in here."

by Master Beta July 30, 2008

handsex

sitting side by side, holding hands and rubbing fingers typically illustrated in movie theaters, cars, etc.

Kristofer grabbed my hand during the movie, locked fingers, and started having hardcore handsex.

by lafonda29 August 19, 2005

fat handed twat

A person with large, stubby fingers, looking like they have 10 thumbs

When in conjunction with a large head, more commonly known as "Jack"

"Jack, your hands are so fat. You are a fat handed twat"

by Archie December 5, 2004

No Hander

Masturbating without using your hands.

Oliver: Hey Braden guess what!
Braden: What?
Oliver: I just pulled a no hander!
Braden: AWWHH SHIT MAN tmi!!!

by the_FIRST_no_hander March 28, 2011

quote red-handed

When someone comes out with a witty comment or funny line which they have taken from a film or television show. The embarassment comes when they are caught out, and someone reveals to the rest of the group that what was just said was not their own wittiness or quick thinking.

Getting "quote red-handed" is especially embarrasing if the show or film being quoted is an embarassing one.

Short person: I'm going to get you.
Jack: What you gonna do? Bite my kneecaps?
John: Dude, you totally got that from Tracy Beaker.
Short Person: Haha. You just got quote red-handed.
John: Haha. *And* you watch Tracy Beaker!
Jack: Dude. So do you.

by NADIAaaaaa. April 19, 2008