A heartless cretin making minimum wage whose job involves calling prospective clients to sell them goods or services they don't want, can't afford and have no use for. They tend to target the elderly and the very young, as these two are the most vulnerable to their bullshit sales pitches, and usually call to annoy you around dinner time as that is when you are most likely to be around. These miserable parasites are as moral as an Islamic terrorist on PCP and are the social equivalent of a tiny insect feasting on the sweaty brown residue between the anus and testicles.
ME: Hello?
TELEMARKETER: Hello, is this Mr. (my name)?
ME: Yes, how can I help you?
TELEMARKETER: Hi! I represent the Federal Guarantee Life Insurance Company, and I'd like to talk to you about--
ME: Excuse me...there's someone at my door. Could you hold on for a moment?
TELEMARKETER: Sure!
(I go off to watch TV and return five minutes later)
ME: You still there?
TELEMARKETER: Yes.
ME: Fuck you, dickwad. --click--
TELEMARKETER: Hello, is this Mr. (my name)?
ME: Yes, how can I help you?
TELEMARKETER: Hi! I represent the Federal Guarantee Life Insurance Company, and I'd like to talk to you about--
ME: Excuse me...there's someone at my door. Could you hold on for a moment?
TELEMARKETER: Sure!
(I go off to watch TV and return five minutes later)
ME: You still there?
TELEMARKETER: Yes.
ME: Fuck you, dickwad. --click--
by Rollo & Biff January 6, 2009
Get the Telemarketer mug.An early electric guitar design by Leo Fender, which has a bolt on neck, bridge and neck single coil pickups, 1 volume, 1 tone, and 3-way toggle.
If you're looking for a twangy sound, look no further than a tele.
It is still one of the most recognizable guitars today, right behind the Stratocaster and Les Paul.
If you're looking for a twangy sound, look no further than a tele.
It is still one of the most recognizable guitars today, right behind the Stratocaster and Les Paul.
by thepseudofriend July 29, 2004
Get the telecaster mug.Related Words
teletubbies
• television
• telepathetic
• telemarketers
• telephone
• telekinesis
• telefizzle
• telefrag
• tele
• teleboards
Four brightly colored asexual creatures from the mythical land of tubbyland. Tubbyland is a wonderful and most beautiful land full of hills, rich green grass, flowers, an overpopulation of rabbits, and a sun with all the common characteristics of an infant. All of the teletubbies have what appear to be television screens on their bellies. They pick up transmitions from ethnic children from everywhere around the U.S., and they all have beer bellies, hence the name, "teletubbies". This show is best watched under the influence of marajuanna.
Tinky winky = The gender confused purple teletubby that is apparently the only post-pubesent teletubby . He sports a bright red purse and is quite the leader of the pack. He has an upside-down triangle on top of his head.
Dipsy = He is the second largest one, and green male of the group. He owns a rather pimp cowskin top hat, and his head-antenna thingy resemblesthat of an erect penis.
Laa-Laa = pronounced loh-loh as in the "o" sound in the word long is the largest female of them all and has a curly deal on her head. She is yellow, with a huge rubber ball that tends to entertain the group to a slobbery stupor until they are all fascinated by the physics of its spherical splendor.
Po = The short red one with the circle on her head. she often sounds as if she were high on helium. She owns 3-wheel scooter capable of speeds of 25 MPH or higher. It gets around 3 miles to the gallon, and has around 1 1/2 horsepower.
The noo-noo = The teletubbies enjoy consuming burnt toast and what looks like pink intestinal fluids called tubby custard. They then proceed to throw the pink goo on the floor along with the toast, as if it were an accident. Thats when the noo-noo comes in. The noo-noo is a vacuum cleaner that looks like snuffalupagus from sesame street. It proceeds to suck up all the rectal discharge that they call food, and the teletubbies scold and yell "bad noo-noo" repeatedly until it rolls on back to its hole in the wall.
Tinky winky = The gender confused purple teletubby that is apparently the only post-pubesent teletubby . He sports a bright red purse and is quite the leader of the pack. He has an upside-down triangle on top of his head.
Dipsy = He is the second largest one, and green male of the group. He owns a rather pimp cowskin top hat, and his head-antenna thingy resemblesthat of an erect penis.
Laa-Laa = pronounced loh-loh as in the "o" sound in the word long is the largest female of them all and has a curly deal on her head. She is yellow, with a huge rubber ball that tends to entertain the group to a slobbery stupor until they are all fascinated by the physics of its spherical splendor.
Po = The short red one with the circle on her head. she often sounds as if she were high on helium. She owns 3-wheel scooter capable of speeds of 25 MPH or higher. It gets around 3 miles to the gallon, and has around 1 1/2 horsepower.
The noo-noo = The teletubbies enjoy consuming burnt toast and what looks like pink intestinal fluids called tubby custard. They then proceed to throw the pink goo on the floor along with the toast, as if it were an accident. Thats when the noo-noo comes in. The noo-noo is a vacuum cleaner that looks like snuffalupagus from sesame street. It proceeds to suck up all the rectal discharge that they call food, and the teletubbies scold and yell "bad noo-noo" repeatedly until it rolls on back to its hole in the wall.
Dude! did you catch the new episode of the teletubbies last night? It was the shit! dipsy knocked up po and tinky winky came out in front of laa-laa! aww DAMN it was a real twist.
by ashitoys April 4, 2007
Get the teletubbies mug.The act of social drinking by any means of telecommunication including but not limited to: telephone, SMS messaging, MMS messaging, webcam, video chat, morris code, smoke signals, etc.
Vikram: "Yo, what were you doing last Thursday?"
Ayaz: "I was teledrinking with Evgueni."
Sarah: "Are you an alcoholic because you drink alone?"
Ayaz: "No, I teledrink."
Ayaz: "I was teledrinking with Evgueni."
Sarah: "Are you an alcoholic because you drink alone?"
Ayaz: "No, I teledrink."
by OttawaAlcoholic February 5, 2010
Get the Teledrinking mug.One of many euphemistic terms for a penis. Most famously used in this context in the Big Bang Theory episode, "The Boyfriend Complexity." In that episode, Howard and Raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. The next day, when Leonard casually asked Howard and Raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though Leonard hadn't heard about the kiss.
(FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY)
*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*
LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?
RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.
LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?
RAJ: Why? You writing a book?
SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.
RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!
SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.
*Howard walks over to the table.*
HOWARD: Hey.
LEONARD: Hey.
SHELDON: Hello.
HOWARD: Hey.
RAJ: Hey.
LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?
*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*
HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!
RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!
HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!
RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!
HOWARD: Fine!
RAJ: Thank you!
RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.
*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*
LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?
RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.
LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?
RAJ: Why? You writing a book?
SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.
RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!
SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.
*Howard walks over to the table.*
HOWARD: Hey.
LEONARD: Hey.
SHELDON: Hello.
HOWARD: Hey.
RAJ: Hey.
LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?
*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*
HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!
RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!
HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!
RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!
HOWARD: Fine!
RAJ: Thank you!
RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.
by Daedalus Suburbanus December 6, 2013
Get the telescope mug.Someone who believes that greed, war, torture, Big Business, and depriving people of freedom are examples of following Jesus' commandment to "love your neighbor as yourself." Sometimes they place greater value on the Constitution of the United States than the Bible, and use it as an excuse for patriotism (a form of idolatry) and cutting government programs which help the poor. They claim they believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible, yet they believe in "the Rapture," which is not a very literal interpretation. Often, they think they can "rush" the Second Coming of Christ by promoting war in the Middle East.
I saw this televangelist on TV, who said that bombing the Middle East was God's will, and that sending him money will save me from my sins.
by RedBlade7 March 30, 2008
Get the televangelist mug.computer-mediated sexual interaction between the
{VR} presences of two humans. This practice is not yet possible except
in the rather limited form of erotic conversation on {MUD}s and the
like. The term, however, is widely recognized in the VR community as a
{ha ha only serious} projection of things to come.
{VR} presences of two humans. This practice is not yet possible except
in the rather limited form of erotic conversation on {MUD}s and the
like. The term, however, is widely recognized in the VR community as a
{ha ha only serious} projection of things to come.
by Seth July 6, 2003
Get the teledildonics mug.