The Masters Softie

When your getting a blowjob while watching The Masters and your interrupted by a call from your Wife.

My bitch wife called and ruined my blowjob and I was left with The Masters Softie.

by Meanie Lips April 9, 2017

Thumb in a softie

The action of inserting a flacid or semi flacid penis into ones sexual partner using a thumb or finger in an attempt to engage in coitus. The action is usually performed after the consumption of a considerable amount of alcohol and is regarded as a token effort at sexual intercourse.

"I was absolutely twatted and knew that there was no way that I could possibly perform, despite the fact that she was absolutely stunning and horny as a goat. I knew that if we didn't have sex she would be upset but I was drunk as a sailor. Therefore the only possible course of action was to thumb in a softie.

by toilet joe October 15, 2009

Softie

1. A person who is very tender-hearted when it comes to people and animals. A compassionate and gentle person, sometimes not always apparent from their rougher exterior, and yet some softies are so obvious that they become pushovers.

2. A semi-flaccid penis.

3. Bill Clinton.

"Fonzie acts like he's a leather-jacketed hooligan, but all his friends like Richie and Potsie know deep down the Fonz is really a softie."

by Lace Valentine October 30, 2004

thumbing in a softie

The term given to pushing a flaccid penis into the vagina.

Drunk dude: Im too pissed, its never gonna work
Female: Cmon work with it otherwise ill fuck your friends
Drunk dude: Well alright ill try thumbing in a softie.

by Jared Ellis January 18, 2008

softer blow punch

A hybrid beverage created when one mixes Code Red with Regular Mountain Dew, resulting in a mild hybrid of the 2 products. "The Prius Version" of code red...since you are going green. Can be referred to as a "Warm Texas Prairie"

(Sees friend mixing mountain dew & code red) A: "What're you doing? "
B: "I'm making Softer Blow Punch...Its like a Warm Texas Prairie in your mouth"

by Honey Tits May 1, 2014

Mr. Softee

The male penis when soft and flaccid.

Rachel woke me up at 4 a.m. by sucking on Mr. Softee.

She really got turned on when I slapped her face with Mr. Softee.

by Eaton Holgoode April 24, 2017

stool softeners

humorous term for in-car seat warmers

Dude, i'm freezing my balls off in here. Doesn't this car have stool softeners?

by JSMAX October 6, 2010