11 definitions by Lace Valentine

The term, Internets, is used only when referring to the uber-secret internet used only by Government and Bush cronies, thus plural.

Dear Reader, the internet you are now on is not the secondary one but the primary one invented by Al Gore. You are on the internet versus the internets.
"I hear there's rumors on the internets..."

--George W. Bush at the Presidential Debate
by Lace Valentine October 9, 2004
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1. A pretty woman who hasn't yet lost her baby fat.

2. A woman who still have a fun, pixie, naughty side.

3. An adjective to declare something as weak, flighty, fearful, or a bad show of masculinity.
"Her face is soft and girly and she's an angel."

"She's a girly woman that likes to take bubble baths."

"Don't be a girly man!" --Arnold
by Lace Valentine November 13, 2004
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1. The title of a song sung by Peter Criss of the rock group, Kiss.

2. An adolescent gangster or trouble maker.

3. A pansy way for the British to say, "a thug."

4. The opposite of a softie.
"My granny, she said I was a hooligan
Runnin' 'round like a fool again..."
--Peter Criss
by Lace Valentine November 8, 2004
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1. To sob deliriously, especially if the weeping face has a fair amount of jowls and wag.

2. Someone who is in the process of choking on a turducken.

3. Rush Limbaugh.
"All that right-wing talk radio is full of blubber face!"
by Lace Valentine November 8, 2004
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1) To rework a photo with an editing program such as Photoshop and then to post it on the web, mainly to Fark.com

2) Sexual relations

3) Wasting time on Fark
"Contest is open only to entries of actual, unaltered screenshots with no additional editing (including, but not limited to, Photoshopping, "FARKing" and/or other form of digital enhancement...) --Everquest II rules

"I was farking my lover before realizing I should have been at work."

"I spent all day farking on the internet."
by Lace Valentine January 28, 2005
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A Heineken lovin', squirrelly Kentuckian who likes boobies and pithy headlines for his website, Fark.

It has been rumored that he is of questionable French descent though he'll never let on, and some net surfers proclaim him King of the Internets (with Burger King crown). He has never held a Fark party in Paris, but he just might show up in Yeehaw Junction, Florida, if there are enough ladies in lingerie.

He believes that Duke sucks--it's his one bias he allows on his website, though normally neutrality prevails. Conservatives think his site is liberal; Liberals think he's a flamewar instigator; and Green party members question his PETA headlines and the pancake rabbit photos.

Sometimes you can find even me, Lace Valentine, on Fark, farking it up. Fark is a word Drew invented, possibly a combination of Fart and Fuck. The filter on his website turns assorted curse words into humorous spellings.
"Drew Curtis will turn you from Farklite to TotalFarker for only five bucks a month."
by Lace Valentine November 20, 2004
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1. A hobo whimsy best expressed by a musical and lyrical genius that is legendary and rich with sly legerdemain. A Gypsy talent.

2. A national treasure usually found roughing it among vagrant campfires, eating baked beans, singing verses of box cars and Martha, playing harmonica that is kept in his coat's breast pocket on cold nights.

3. A dancing set of bones--such as the Elephant Man--summoned up from the dead to take the listener on an eerie ride, i.e. the Gospel Train on Halloween.
"Tom Waits for no man. But I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." --Nick Cave to Henry Mancini
by Lace Valentine October 30, 2004
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