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A portmanteau of the words 'masturbate' & 'lurk'

The classic masturblurker is mentally disturbed and socially inept, a failure in all walks of life who turns to the internet to seek human connection due to an inability to connect with people in the real world

Binding themselves to a computer, the masturblurker develops unhealthy obsessions towards certain netizens - whether they be members of forums, gamers from MMORPGs, posters of classified ads or book critics

The masturblurker, while seemingly normal in the beginning, soon engages in conduct that is universally derided and shunned by those around them

Due to possible mental retardation, repression of a once recessive Asperger's Syndrome or a derangement of some form, the masturblurker, unable to cope with the ridicule & scorn, begins to lash out

The masturblurker's emotional well being begins to waver and signs of senility, uncontrollable rage, drunkenness, dissociative behavior and debilitating psychosis become apparent

The masturblurker then resorts to classic obsessive behavior including but not limited to - cyberstalking, PMs with threats of sexual/physical violence, creating new IDs to further harass victims, and carries out a nonstop vigil, lurking in wait for victims to come online so as to further masturblurk them

The masturblurker often feigns ignorance with regards to their masturblurking but will inevitably be unable to hide the truth because of the strong stench of failure that lingers with them
'I got into an argument with this guy online recently and he's been masturblurking me ever since'

'Why are you looking through that person's facebook and myspace pages? Stop being such a masturblurker'

'mmmmmm'blurk....blurk blurk....mmmm'blurk'
by robertfail March 30, 2010
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Masturbatron

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an incredibly shy transformer who isn't seen in any films because he is constantly masturbating. he doesn't like vaginas, only his hands. and he'll always check your oil
director: god damn it masturbatron, can't you stop jerking off for 5 minutes?
masturbatron: i can but i dont wanna
by PJ greengrass January 23, 2010
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A woman who masturbates a man, often with the purpose of teasing him by denying him an orgasm.
The masturbatrix stroked his cock for an hour but wouldn't let him come.
by vickiep August 23, 2010
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masturbextrous

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Wow that was incredible, are you ambidextrous?
-I'm actually masturbextrous
by Rickterscale May 31, 2010
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A Japanese and Fapanese fetish artist who cumposed music about her own sexual experiences and participated in the opening and ending theme songs of the TV anime Gu-Gu Ganmo under the name of Suzie Masturbara until her death on October 7th, 2004.
Miki Masturbara was the pornagraphic queen of J-pop.
by GregNelson29 October 4, 2023
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masturbreak

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(n.) the act of taking a break from strenuous work to relieve stress through masturbation.

(n.) a unit of time spanning the end of one masturbation session until the next masturbation session until the completion of any strenuous work and/or project.
"damn nigga I had to take 12 masturbreaks during that Calculus 14 final, my dick feel like corn!"

"that fuckin essay took me 45 masturbreaks."
by J.TSUI June 1, 2007
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Masturbatrice

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n. A female who masturbates.

(An important term of differentiation, as its masculine counterpart "masturbator" is redundant given ALL men either masturbate or masturbate and then lie about it.)
Bro 1: My girlfriend is insatiable dude. I must have walked in on her with her vibrator at least a half a dozen times.

Bro 2: That's pretty fresh man. All the girls I've dated have been so uptight about getting off. Not one has actually admitted she enjoys double-clicking her mouse.

Bro 1: You need to expand your horizons. A woman insecure about her body will invariably be reluctant to touch yours. You need a sex-positive chick, a proud masturbatrice.
by dark289 April 16, 2009
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