A portmanteau of the words 'masturbate' & 'lurk'
The classic masturblurker is mentally disturbed and socially inept, a failure in all walks of life who turns to the internet to seek human connection due to an inability to connect with people in the real world
Binding themselves to a computer, the masturblurker develops unhealthy obsessions towards certain netizens - whether they be members of forums, gamers from MMORPGs, posters of classified ads or book critics
The masturblurker, while seemingly normal in the beginning, soon engages in conduct that is universally derided and shunned by those around them
Due to possible mental retardation, repression of a once recessive Asperger's Syndrome or a derangement of some form, the masturblurker, unable to cope with the ridicule & scorn, begins to lash out
The masturblurker's emotional well being begins to waver and signs of senility, uncontrollable rage, drunkenness, dissociative behavior and debilitating psychosis become apparent
The masturblurker then resorts to classic obsessive behavior including but not limited to - cyberstalking, PMs with threats of sexual/physical violence, creating new IDs to further harass victims, and carries out a nonstop vigil, lurking in wait for victims to come online so as to further masturblurk them
The masturblurker often feigns ignorance with regards to their masturblurking but will inevitably be unable to hide the truth because of the strong stench of failure that lingers with them
The classic masturblurker is mentally disturbed and socially inept, a failure in all walks of life who turns to the internet to seek human connection due to an inability to connect with people in the real world
Binding themselves to a computer, the masturblurker develops unhealthy obsessions towards certain netizens - whether they be members of forums, gamers from MMORPGs, posters of classified ads or book critics
The masturblurker, while seemingly normal in the beginning, soon engages in conduct that is universally derided and shunned by those around them
Due to possible mental retardation, repression of a once recessive Asperger's Syndrome or a derangement of some form, the masturblurker, unable to cope with the ridicule & scorn, begins to lash out
The masturblurker's emotional well being begins to waver and signs of senility, uncontrollable rage, drunkenness, dissociative behavior and debilitating psychosis become apparent
The masturblurker then resorts to classic obsessive behavior including but not limited to - cyberstalking, PMs with threats of sexual/physical violence, creating new IDs to further harass victims, and carries out a nonstop vigil, lurking in wait for victims to come online so as to further masturblurk them
The masturblurker often feigns ignorance with regards to their masturblurking but will inevitably be unable to hide the truth because of the strong stench of failure that lingers with them
'I got into an argument with this guy online recently and he's been masturblurking me ever since'
'Why are you looking through that person's facebook and myspace pages? Stop being such a masturblurker'
'mmmmmm'blurk....blurk blurk....mmmm'blurk'
'Why are you looking through that person's facebook and myspace pages? Stop being such a masturblurker'
'mmmmmm'blurk....blurk blurk....mmmm'blurk'
by robertfail March 30, 2010
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Guy 1: Just got a real nice blumpkin.
Guy 2: Your girlfriend went for it?
Guy 1: No, gave myself a masturblumpkin.
Guy 2: Your girlfriend went for it?
Guy 1: No, gave myself a masturblumpkin.
by ImmunityBreach October 17, 2012
Get the masturblumpkin mug.Father: "Son, I feel like we need to talk about something..." Son: "Dad I saw you doing some masturblacktion last night."
Father: "Don't tell your mother."
Father: "Don't tell your mother."
by Mr. Word Knower July 22, 2011
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the blanket that one uses to cover their penis while masturbating. The blanket can be used as plausible deniability if someone walks into the vicinity.
Jeff: Aww man, my sister caught me wanking in the basement last Saturday.
Tony: That's your fault bro, that almost happened to me but I covered it up with a masturblanket and made it look like I was just laying down watching TV.
Tony: That's your fault bro, that almost happened to me but I covered it up with a masturblanket and made it look like I was just laying down watching TV.
by BRAPS July 25, 2012
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