schmead

Unknown bodily substance found on everyday items.

"Amanda left a bunch of schmead on my monitor and keyboard."

by retlehs September 16, 2006

butt schmear

when a dog scoots it's butt across the floor in order to excrete it's anal glands often leaving a residue of poo in it's wake...

My dog Willis butt schmeared across the floor yesterday and we had to clean up all the shit left behind...it was gross.

by beckyboo April 7, 2014

Schmarder

1.) A person in NY.
2.) One who is extremely fat and eats everything possible in sight; a fat ass.

"The guy in McDonald's is such a schmarder."
"I hope I never have to share a seat on the bus with a schmarder again, the seat almost broke!"

by N/A April 21, 2005

Schmead darsted

When a female comes over to your lovely man cave and passes out within the confines of your bed. She than pees your bed.

Dude can you believe that Andrew got schmead darsted again?

No man that's impossible.

by Juicy john December 30, 2012

shmalarded

ADJ. when a smart person is acting retarded/says some dumb shit

madi has an A in math, yet she multiplied 12x13 and got 36... she’s shmalarded

by skinnyhoemo December 12, 2019

Schmearquad

the correct way to say okay in mhermerknees

“My pregnancy test came back negative.”

“Schmearquad.”

by mherm_queenie February 27, 2023

Hammer Schmear

A little dollop of thick smegma under the penile foreskin.

She looked so pretty with a bit of my hammer schmear on her upper lip.

I need to wash the hammer schmear a little better. It stinks.

by Dick Onchin October 13, 2020