Splinter me timbers

A masturbation related injury

Guy 1: *walking along awkwardly*
Guy 2: Hey buddy, what happened to you?
Guy 1: I was watching Mudhole Nuns Gone Wild 76 and got too excited, next thing I knew, splinter me timbers!
Guy 2: Oh my lawdy...

by PrinceCharming6.9 May 10, 2015

Who's choking on the splinters

Employees that suck on the wood penis on the Boss ....aka buttsniffers, suckass

Damnit I tired of all the "Who's choking on the splinters" types around work.

by williedoitnow August 10, 2022

Splinter train

The act of rubbing one's anus back and forth across a plank of wood in order to receive pleasure and, inevitably, splinters.

I splinter trained last night. Very enjoyable.

by Cucumber101 July 08, 2017

Shitting splinters

When a bowl movement causes anal stinging

That curry was fierce, tomorrow I'll be shitting splinters

by Pocka Shnoods December 24, 2023

banana splinter

it's when you get something stuck in your dick

Man I was trying to give myself a piercing this weekend and ended up with a banana splinter

by lolghostu February 27, 2016

Rape splinter

When someone gets raped and a shard of dick gets stuck in one of their holes.

I've got a killer rape splinter lodged in my ass.

by MagicResistantBears March 17, 2017

Splinter sucker

Cocksucker, someone who enjoys sucking a dick,oral sex

Yehaa I am the best god damn splinter sucker in south Wales

by Djruffglove September 15, 2018