Tom Clancy

Dog shit novelist extraordinare. All his stories are about terrorist or communists getting their asses whomped by the "free", democratic western countries. Even though his stories are generic and boorish, they do make for mildly entertaining movies (Hunt For Red October), and pretty decent videogames (Splinter Cell, Ghost Recon, Rainbow Six, etc).
Even though his stories are mostly shit. His success is quite high. His obscene crap-to-money ratio amazes us all. So Tom Clancy, for that, I salute you.
In fact. One man (Maddox) proved once and for all that anyone can make a storyline which equals anything Clancy can write. Don't believe me? Just check it out under "Five shitty movies that everybody loves" at www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com, at the bottom of the page is the "Tom Clancy Plot Generator", using this, I have created a plot just as good as anything Tom Clancy could make:..

Communists devise a scheme to take over a generic industrial compound for ransom under the watchful eye of corrupt German officials (played by Americans with fake German accents). The plot twists when the Communists threaten to blow up the White House even after their demands are met. Millions of lives are at stake unless a rookie CIA agent eager to prove his worth can overcome his brooding self-doubt and stop the Communists once and for all. The movie ends with a mildly comical and/or ironic scene in which the Communists blow up or go to prison. Another satisfying tale of political intrigue and personal redemption closes, and we all walk away from this movie a little wiser.

by You don't need to know my name. April 26, 2005

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Clench

Clenching involves you and at least 2 of your closest friends whom you have absolutely no sexual feelings towards. All three participants leave their clothes ON and squish into a twin size bed in a spooning position. Then proceed to bounce up and down/hump to the tune of "shots" by Lmfao while chanting "clench clench clench". Continue til exhaustion, then fall asleep maintaining position. Usually done when completely wasted. Often accompanied by feelings of "WTF" the next day upon reaching sobriety.

guy: did you get any last night?
guy 2: yeah, dude, I clenched these two hot roommates last night. They had ass for dayzzz.

guy: damn. sounds wild

by midgetlover123 August 4, 2012

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Clenched

Someone who is tryharding at video games, or is jacking off really fast

Wow that guy is so clenched.

by Plasmic Ashes January 6, 2019

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Tom Clancy

Middling quality thriller novelist who probably does his homework on the research end of things, is full of American jingoism, and avoids including sex scenes in his books because he thinks that makes them more respectable. Has had two middling good movies made of his work, The Hunt for Red October and The Sum of All Fears.

Bernie says she'd rather watch the movies they make of his books than read Tom Clancy's originals.

by Fearman May 26, 2008

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