Fearman's definitions

Benedict XVI

(As of 2007) current occupant of the Throne of Peter. Talks a fair amount about gays in rather shrill tones. Likes to hide behind other powerful men before coming into the limelight, as he did as the author of many of Karol Wojtyla's bulls. Really has a fabulous wardrobe. Last seen slinking around St. Peter's in a pair of ruby slippers, just like Judy. Has a birth name meaning rat-catcher, good job he got his current post so he can shed that skin and emerge from his chryalis transformed into a beautiful butterfly. Most beloved closet queen on the planet. After all, he may come from the backwoods of Deutschland, but deep down he knows, there's no place like Rome, there's no place like Rome (click click) there's no place like Rome.

Benedict XVI, I've got your number.

by Fearman August 21, 2007

shit cubed

The epitome of evil, typically someone from the gutter who is the epitome of evil.

Stalin, Hitler, Pot Pot and a few other shining gentlemen who are shit cubed.

by Fearman August 19, 2007

necrocam

1. Internet movie made on a shoestring in the Netherlands about a group of three beautifully morbidly obsessed (or perhaps just eternally curious) teenagers who vow that the first of them to die will have the process of his/her decomposition broadcast on the Web from a camera installed in his/her well-lit coffin. Darkly witty, even if its reputation seems to exceed its availability.

2. Any similar setup in real life (or real death, I suppose). Unclear at the time of writing if anyone has actually done this, although there is at least one fake version on the Web. In theory there may or may not be cybernetically accessible environmental controls, more than one camera, et cetera.

I managed to download Necrocam a few years back. Gross, but intriguing.

Pamela says she wants necrocam coverage when she dies. Everyone to their own taste.

by Fearman April 10, 2008

ego-warrior

Species of environmental activist (Gimius Limelitius), that sadly is nowhere near the endangered list. Considers itself waaay above any kind of requirement to deal in accurate information, to think rationally, or to treat the opposition fairly. Exists across a range of habitats, including fields of actually or allegedly transgenic crops (preferred activity: uprooting), banks of TV cameras (preferred activity: indulging in purple and impassioned pleas to rest of population that generally involve mentioning children) and rooms set aside for public debate with scientists (preferred activities: screaming, name calling, pulling hair and storming out in a huff). Its favourite habitat, though, is up a tree, preferably as high a tree as possible and especially one that stands along the route of a planned motorway. The species reproduces itself by way of books and websites featuring the kind of fuzzy logic once associated with the likes of Charles Berlitz. It associates mostly or entirely with its own kind and its only predator is Homo Scientificus Rationalis, or so it claims. Often covered in carbuncles, some of which may be mistaken for quartz crystals, and may smell musky or musty, depending on the weather. Claims to be herbivorous. Among biologists, opinion is divided between whether this species represents part of the order of mammals, or that of reptiles. Others say there is just something fishy about it.

Look at those ego-warriors, uprooting your man's sugar beet and claiming to be out to save the Earth.

by Fearman August 19, 2007

nigyrophobia

Fear of black helicopters.

Just because you've got nigyrophobia, doesn't mean the CIA aren't operating McDonalds as a front for the Rosicrucians.

by Fearman October 30, 2007

New Killer Weapons

Some new-fangled type of arms that "President" George Bush II tends to worry about a lot, or so he says.

Mah fellow Americans, there is plenny of evidence that Ee-rak, Afghanistan and perhaps Venezuela all have New Killer Weapons.

by Fearman February 24, 2008

Venus

2. Second planet from the sun. Almost the size of Earth. At various points in the two planets' orbits it is visible in Earth's sky as the so-called morning or evening star. A runaway greenhouse effect has generated temperatures at the surface of around 480 degrees Centigrade, under an atmospheric pressure of around 90 bars, equivalent to the water pressure nearly one kilometre under the sea on Earth. Atmosphere mainly carbon dioxide, contains notable amounts of sulphur dioxide. Sulphuric acid virga (rain that re-evaporates in mid-air) falls from cloud deck about 30 miles above the surface. Diameter about 7,500 miles. Most surface features named for historic or mythical women. Various interesting surface features mapped by the Magellan probe's radar technology. Surface gravity 90 percent of that on Earth. No natural satellites. On current theories, Venus may be a portent of future conditions on Earth's surface as the sun brightens in ages to come. It may also serve as a warning of the (relatively modest but still highly undesirable) effects that carbon dioxide emissions by human industry may have on our own planetary environment.

2. The planet's namesake is the ancient Roman goddess of love, sex and beauty. Modelled on the Greek Aphrodite. One thoroughly industrial-strength bodacious babe. Shag her and die ... or die and shag her, whichever. Compare this image with the nature of the planet's surface and ponder that, as Freddie Mercury once put it, love kills.

Venus is looking really nice in the evening sky tonight.

Oh, Venus, please let me have Aurelia Calypyggia in my bed tonight.

by Fearman May 10, 2008