Habeas coitus is the latin phrase for engaging in sexual intercourse. Its usefulness lies in its esoteric nature; one can use this phrase in public, surrounded by old women, or even in church without the people around them realizing what they are talking about.
James: Hey, Bill, guess what?
Bill: What?
James: Suzanne and I habeas coitus last night.
Bill: ... ... ... What the hell are you talking about?
Bill: What?
James: Suzanne and I habeas coitus last night.
Bill: ... ... ... What the hell are you talking about?
by doctorwhy July 18, 2010
Get the Habeas Coitus mug.Word that was being yelled in my house recently because my dumbass friend learned it in a health class and wanted to freak out my parents.
by Pookie February 22, 2005
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intercourse that is intended to be of a wacky, goofy, or even zany nature. often times it is for a joke, homosexual relations, or just plain silly
John: hey Mike how was that looney coitus you had with Sarah?
Mike: it was great she literally dressed up like a clown and blew my dick like a balloon
*John and Mike high five*
Mike: it was great she literally dressed up like a clown and blew my dick like a balloon
*John and Mike high five*
by bigmanharbor November 23, 2022
Get the looney coitus mug.Latin for bruised vagina.
A term used when a male friend says he doesn't want to come out but doesn't have a real excuse.
A term used when a male friend says he doesn't want to come out but doesn't have a real excuse.
Dave: "Hey Paul do you want to come mountain biking with us this weekend?"
Paul: "No I can't this weekend."
Dave: "Why not? Do you have a labial contusion?"
Paul: "No I can't this weekend."
Dave: "Why not? Do you have a labial contusion?"
by AdamV August 28, 2006
Get the labial contusion mug.to disturb/disrupt two people having sex, thereby stopping them from doing so. Generally with some sort of reason.
"Where did Alex put the keys to the car?"
"I dont know, go ask him."
"i cant, hes banging his gf"
"Guess you'll just have to go Coitus interruptus them"
"I dont know, go ask him."
"i cant, hes banging his gf"
"Guess you'll just have to go Coitus interruptus them"
by _Dan_the_man_ February 13, 2006
Get the coitus interruptus mug.The act of engaging in intercourse, to climax or not, with the umbilicus/navel/belly button. It frequently occurs in inexperienced males that are seeking any dark crevice for sexual pleasure while lacking in knowledge of the female anatomy. It can also be intentional, especially when the sexual act involves a partner, male or female, with a significant amount soft tissue is present in the neighboring structures. It is not to be confused with coitus panniculus, engaging in coitus with the folds of abdominal fat.
I was unaware of the female anatomy my first sexual interaction. While searching for home, I engaged in coitus umbilicus as she writhed from pain as her happy trail was mechanically stripped of hair from the friction.
by William Black August 26, 2013
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