Table faced

1. Being incredibly intoxicated.

2. Beating some one up to the point their face bleeds.

1. Man, I got so table faced last night I was doing the robot on the kitchen counter.

2. I STRAIGHT TABLE FACED THAT MOTHER FUCKER!

by theshakinbaccon December 23, 2009

Table Dressing

Noun - A phrase used to describe a person who drops a large amount of crumbs on a table or surface and or the crumbs that were dropped.

When directed towards a person it is most commonly used as "Crumby-Mc-Table-Dressing"

Or

Thanks for the table dressing.

by Ryan1one January 16, 2011

Table Vultures

People trying to find a table to sit at in a crowded coffee shop. They will often circle the coffee shop repeatedly while looking for a place to sit and will hover buzzard-like near the table of someone who looks like they might be about to leave.

In Seattle’s popular coffee shops it’s common for customers (often with laptop computers), to sit at their tables for hours making it hard for other people to find a free table to sit at.

"The other day I was writing at Cafe Solstice in the U District. It was full and the second I started packing up I could see a couple table vultures hovering, just waiting for me to leave."

by Cryptolexicographer December 5, 2013

table tongue

Table Tongue is when you lick a table until your tongue is covered in splinters

Guy 1: AH! Godammit!

Guy 2: Dude what happened?

Guy 1: I tried to do Table Tongue and it fucking hurts

Guy 2: Wow, you're a fucking dumbass

by SpasticMicrophone October 14, 2014

table saw

A combination of the terms table, meaning a horizontal plane on which to engage in coitus, and saw, being an acronym for "Short and Wide". The meaning is to engage in sexual intercourse with an obese midget, doing so on a table.

Woah dude, do you hear about Austin doing the table saw?

by GeneralDiabeetus September 18, 2016

table dick

Table dick is a severe physical disorder that causes your dick to look like a table only 1 out of 1,000,000,000 pepole have this disorder

dude did u know jerry has a table dick

by Fuck a twig April 7, 2017

table turner

Someone who has so many sex slaves, they fuck every night, and day.

Devin is a table turner.

by Lol Poor Tabke turner September 27, 2017