Criss Angel

Criss Angel is what some people call an "illusionist", although I prefer to think of him as a comedian, because there is no way that he takes himself seriously. His "stunts" are performed in front of a "live audience" which mostly consists of gullible ditzy girls and/or druggies in a city park; this is why the people on his show believe that he can really pull a woman's torso off and have her two halves walk away. While entertaining, his act is clearly not real. If you believe he went through a wood chipper, you've got a problem.

Criss Angel has a show called Mindfreak that is really hard to watch without falling out of your seat from intense lawling.

by zomgzhaxed January 5, 2009

false angel

An individual who appears to be nice and kind, but turns out to be a complete monster once you point out something that they don't want you to. Often times these are the people who can (or at least think they can) get away with all sorts of crimes. Many times unless you have a great deal of evidence to the contrary against such an individual, almost nobody will believe you. In rare cases in which others do believe you, the false angel will do everything in their power to discredit you. A false angel will pretend to be nice simply to get you to do something they would rather not do themselves; or to get something from you. They’re manipulative, with poor morals/values, if any. These individuals bring others great joy when they get their comeuppance. Some base traits of false angels are their aloofness, their lack of conscience, the fact that they are all backstabbers & have exceptional acting skills. Frequently false angels are also Assholes & extremely petty. Despite the fact that every false angel's at least shown their true nature to at least one person, they somehow manage to convince everyone around them they're an angel. False angels rely on deceiving people into thinking they're better in some way. They do this by advertising themselves as being kind, funny, trustworthy, the ever so vague cool, smart, honest, or pretty; with most claiming to possess all of these traits at once. In each case, the false angel is lying about either most, or all of these traits.

Individual 1: I thought individual x was an angel until they stabbed me in the back and took everything that I have ever worked for. What a false angel!
Individual 2: What! Individual x would never do such a thing! You're crazy!
Individual x: *Sobs* and I thought you were my friend Individual 1! You're just jealous because I'm so pretty!
Individual 2: How dare you individual 1! Can't you see how much you've hurt poor, innocent Individual x! Don't worry Individual x, I'll make sure that *insert insult here* never does such a thing again!
Individual x: *Cheekily smiles at Individual 1.*
Individual 1: Did you not see that?!!
Individual 2: *Looks at individual x.*
Individual x: *Sobbing* They're just cr-cr-crazy. I just don't understand why they h-h-hate meee!
Individual 2: You're disgusting individual 1.
After it happens to Individual 2: Good grief Individual 1! You were right about individual x! I wish I had believed you sooner!
Individual 1: Told you so. A total false angel.

by The * Impossible * Girl May 23, 2018

Carpet Angels

The act of flopping yourself down onto a carpeted floor and going through the same motions that you would to make a snow angel. This is usually attempted and/or accomplished while intoxicated. Depending on your attire, or lack thereof, this process can cause some substantial carpet burns.
Also, depending on the depth of the carpet, you may or may not actually see angelic-shaped results.

Chris was so piss drunk on hard cider, he dropped down and started doing carpet angels.

by Woobey June 25, 2016

sloppy angel

when a woman is giving a man head and he cums in her mouth. He proceeds to slap her in the back of the head causing the semen to come out her nose.

She was on her knees, and i gave her a sloppy angel. She wasn't too happy

by the filthy phillie May 13, 2006

alex angell

A God

“I can’t believe they took away Alex Angell’s bazooka!”

“I know! Who would take anything away from a God?”

by Ms. Tish September 23, 2018

the criss angel

When you're fucking a girl from behind, you tell her you're going to cum and instead spit on her back, and when she turns around you cum on a dove and throw it in her face, while pyrotechnics go off in the background.

I wanted to do the Criss Angel to my fiance on our honey moon, but no pet shop would sell me the doves I needed to do it.

by Stonedashades September 20, 2013

los angeles

A "city" in Southern California that really will, seriously, sink into the Pacific Ocean one day. That isn't just a joke, most geologist say it will happen. That is probably why every other city in America is sending all of its assholes there, so that when it does sink, the USA will be free of the worst of it's citizens. For whatever reason, LA likes to think it is in the same league as cities like New York and London. It isn't even close. If the San Adreas fault doesn't crack and send Los Angeles plumiting to the bottom of the ocean within the next 20 years, I suggest that we evacuate the 20 or so good people out of it and use it as a nuclear testing site. It already resembles and has the air quality of one, might as well make it official

Los Angeles is going to sink into the Pacific ocean one day, THANK GOD!

by Nixter September 5, 2005