Human Resources

The sort of people who, when considering CVs of job applicants, remove from the list people who are better than them, just to protect their jobs. Devious evil scum, who are in personnel or human resources because they have fucked up every other job, fucked the General Manager or both.

The sort of people who, when considering job applicants to run post-invasion Iraq, would consider Saddam Hussien, Fidel Castro or Robert Mugabe, as a) They all hold Doctorates. b) "Have relevant experience and contacts." c) Have done the job before.

by gremlin February 22, 2005

Dry hump

To have sex, but with your clothes on, usually a male to a female. The male rubs his hard cock over a female's vagina. He humps her until she cums or he cums or both.
Safe sex.
Feels really good.

Tom: Hey, Mindy. Whatcha doing tonight?
Mindy: Nothing. What are you thinking about?
Tom: Wanna hang out behind the school tonight?
Mindy: Sure, babe.

Later That Night

Tom: Man, you're feeling wet. *rubs her pussy while kissing her*
Mindy: Faster! *kisses back*
Tom: *proceeds to dry hump faster and harder, his boner jabbing her pussy*
Mindy: Mmm, this is almost as good as sex! *smiles and leads him to her car where they begin to have hard, passionate sex*

by Sexy Stripper Queen March 6, 2017

human tampon

When a person (usually a man) soaks up a womans emotional bad day by listening to her problems.

After listening to my girlfriend bitch about her problems all afternoon I felt like a human tampon.

by S. S. D. December 12, 2007

Human Instrumentality

1. The process which occurs when Humanity reaches it's evolutionary peak, and evolves back into a primordial ooze, starting the evolutionary process all over again.

2. An evolutionary Theory in which the entire world is the product of the imagination of a boy who does not realize what he really is.

3. The end of the world.

4. To reduce humanity and civilization to a single hive mentality, by stripping them of their individualities and combining all hearts, souls and minds into one coherent existence.

The instigation of Human Instrumentality would bring about peace and harmony, but it would make us lose everything that makes us unique. But we would all agree and be happy.

by Gunslave May 3, 2003

Bah Humbug

An expression used to show digust at the Christmas season, made famous by the fictional character Ebinizer Scrooge in the Charles Dickens novel 'A Christmas Carol'

Guy: I love Christmas, Don't you Mr Scrooge?
Scrooge: Bah Humbug

by Tomontherun99 December 18, 2009

Humped Zebra Crossing

A term used in the UK for a giant speed bump with a striped crosswalk on top of it.

He bottomed out his csr on the humped zebra crossing.

by Mark January 21, 2005

Human Nugget

A human being without any arms and legs.

-Look at the that guy without arms and legs over there!

-Oh, you mean the human nugget?

by asiatdemokrat October 18, 2018