Location: Rushden is on the A6 between Bedford and Kettering. It is connected to the larger towns by a
wank bus service which takes an hour and a half to reach
fucking Northampton.
Governance: None. Several failed attempts to enforce the law in the past.
History: There are several theories regarding the origins of Rushden, I shall list only those that are given any serious consideration: A) Rushden was created by
Satan, who had a
wank and didn't clean up afterwards. B) Rushden was created in the 1950s by secret nuclear testing by the
Government, who in an effort to cover up the resulting crater as a town, inhabited it with the UK's worst and dimmest. C) Rushden is the unfortunate result of an attempt to break the world record in gathering the most
people with no GCSE qualifications in one place, they just never left. D) Rushden was
Hitler's answer to retards, Winston Churchill just went along with it as a great idea.
Sports: Drinking, fighting, stabbing and long-distance running (from the Police, who kindly provide fag breaks for the participants).
Education: N/A.
Supermarkets: ASDA and Waitrose (if you're a
Tory).
Disclaimer: The writer
will take no responsibility for anyone curious enough to see Rushden for themselves after reading this. According to recent statistics by a vermin control group which formerly conducted (effective) training there, 98% of all visitors die.
