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I can't find it

Something you say to your mum when you can't find something, moments before she instantly out of nowhere finds it.
Timmy: Mum? I can't find it.
Mum: *does magic shit, before summoning it out of thin air.* SEE I FOUND IT UR DUM-ASS EYES

Why do I find it funny? 

Oh! You don't get it? My symptoms got worse 2 years ago. I have been in agony for the past 2 years. I was in genuine cognitive decline for about a month or 2 before I started using this very specific brand of generic mouthwash which ameliorated my symptoms, yet... The pressure in my skull persists...
Hym "So why do I find it funny? What have you been doing this whole time? Well, I'll tell you what you've been doing for the last 4 years and in the words of our much beloved Megyn Kelly 'Watching me suffer.' From the aforementioned affliction that I suspect has something to do with the hole in my tooth. Agony and discomfort for years. You WANTED that to be the case. And now your colleague got shot and APPARENTLY... I have no choice but to be sympathetic. Right? Not allowed to be sympathetic to the shooter. Have to be sympathetic to the person that fucked him instead of me. IF I DIE TOMORROW... Are you going to enforce that same sympathy mandate? 'I guess he was ill!' Where were you up until then? PRAYING on my downfall. Yet I remain and he does not. God clearly likes me better. If I die tomorrow would you even say anything about it? Give me in death what you denied me in life? Get the fuck outta here! Where's the money Piers? Billion Dollars off The Joker so confident it would succeed took a success contingent payout. It's going somewhere. While I sit here and rub my jowls to try and milk the blood through my skull so I can feel like I'm not actively about to have a stroke for a couple of minutes."
Why do I find it funny? by Hym Iam September 29, 2025

If you can find it, you can fuck it

Generally used if suspecting a micro-peen
L: I did a sweep and came up empty! Then I tried again and realized he had a micro-peen!
S: If you can find it, you can fuck it!

Don't find your mamma in it 

Don't dig into food too deep.

An idiom, usually spoken in a buffet line, by the guy behind you, when you are spooning out food.
(A vague reference to exhuming a body.)
Hey dude, ease up on that potato salad... Don't find your mamma in it.

It's for me to know and you to find out 

You:Heeey , who did you talk to last night?
Hot Girl:It's for me to know and you to find out

find your dick about it 

To stop behaving in such a way that one's dick is so small that it cannot be located.
I don't care if you don't want to go out tonight, find your dick about it bro.