Skip to main content

Center Of Farting Excellence

A group of people that have committed their lives to farting excellence and are Purveyors of farting. Pushing new boundaries and establishing methods of deriving specific odor, power and punch as well as lingering presence in the area of farting. The COFE has established an international scale for judging and scoring a fart called the COFE scale(1-10) with 1 = a literal non-fart and 10 equaling the atomic bomb blast of Hiroshima. The COFE also offers classes that spreads knowledge on how to fart, what to eat to produce specific farts. proper times to fart and the COFE scale. Much like knowledge for making and juding fine wines.
Dude, that was the nastiest, room clearing, toxic fart I have ever witnessed, what is up with that. Son.. I learned it all at the Center of Farting Excellence. I was once as you, without farting knowledge, but have been enlightened, you too can become proveyor of farting through the Center of Farting Excellence.

farting with confidence 

When you're worried that if you fart you'll accidentally shit in your pants (aka draw mud).
"I never got sick in India, but there were definitely some patches where I wasn't farting with confidence!"

"They have an awesome chilli paste which on many occasions has stopped me farting with confidence."

Gorilla Footing 

The act of a person or something making very loud stomping noises, typically an upstairs neighbor, or somebody slamming their feet on the stairs.
“I couldn’t hear the TV because my mom was gorilla footing upstairs.”

“Who the hell is gorilla footing in the house?”

“I purposely Gorilla foot in my living room to piss off the neighbors”
Gorilla Footing by Burd D June 29, 2020

Quandale Dingleberry james bartholomew the 3rd farting anderson 

A hot guy
Man he looks a lot like Quandale Dingleberry james bartholomew the 3rd farting anderson right now

synchronized farting

A special skill that usually evolves between very close friends or siblings, often those who are bored.
We had become famous by the age of twelve as our small town’s synchronized farting champions.

Morse farting 

Named after inventor Samuel Morse, patterns of flatulence consisting of dits and dahs which can also be transcribed, most commonly onto toilet paper in the form of dots and dashes.
From his earliest youth my father demonstrated an innate talent for Morse farting for which he was, much later in his long and charmed life, eventually formally recognized for his feats of brilliant farting.
Morse farting by Dr Bunnygirl June 30, 2020